What to Do When You Don’t Recognize Yourself in the Mirror Anymore

It was a normal morning. Brushing my teeth. Getting ready. Nothing eventful.

And then I looked in the mirror and the “11” lines in my forehead were deeper.

Like, overnight deeper. Like, did I sleep on my face and somehow add three years deeper.

I leaned in closer.

That’s when I noticed a few new sun spots on my cheek.

And just like that, I was off to the races.

What if I did laser? What about Botox? I haven’t done any injectables. Maybe one day. No judgment if you have. But suddenly I was deep in a Google tab spiral, comparing treatments, pricing, before-and-afters of women I do not know.

And here’s the part I’m a little embarrassed about.

At some point in this spiral, I had a very serious thought: Maybe I need to make more money so I can afford to do these things without it breaking the bank.

A whole new business plan. Just to fund the fixing of my face.

Reader, it was 9 a.m.

Here’s what I want to name, because I think a lot of us do this and don’t quite catch ourselves doing it:

The second something on the outside of me shifted, my mind ran away from my body. Not toward it. Not closer to it. Away.

I went outward. Researching. Pricing. Strategizing. Building entire imaginary income streams just to outrun two lines on my forehead.

What I didn’t do was stay.

I didn’t pause and ask how I was feeling. I didn’t notice that my shoulders were up by my ears. I didn’t put a hand on my heart and check in. I didn’t go for a walk and let the noticing pass through me.

I left.

And the funny thing is, this isn’t just about my face. This is the pattern.

I’ve noticed myself doing the same thing with my energy. What supplement do I need? With my focus. What planner system should I try? With my sleep. What sleep app is everyone using?

The reflex is always outward. What else do I need to do to fix this?

It’s like the moment we don’t quite recognize ourselves, our first instinct is to go shopping.

I’m sharing this because I think a lot of us are walking around in a low-grade rabbit hole most of the time. Tab open. Cart half-full. Mentally scrolling solutions for a feeling we haven’t actually sat with.

And I’m not saying don’t do the treatments. Or take the supplement. Or try the planner.

I’m saying: notice the leaving.

Notice when something shifts on the outside and your mind sprints away from your body to fix it.

Because the leaving has a cost. And I think that cost is part of why so many of us feel like we don’t quite recognize ourselves anymore.

Not because our faces changed. Or our weight changed. Or our energy changed.

But because we left, and we forgot to come back.

So this week, I’m trying something. When I catch the leaving, I’m pausing. Just for one breath. Just long enough to ask, what if I came back instead?

You can also play with the following mantra:

I notice.
I soften.
​​​​​​​I stay.

Just repeat it to yourself a few times when you notice you have “left the building.” 😉

If you want a tool for the pause, I made a free Soul Snack called Everything Doesn’t Need You Right Now.

It’s a short audio designed to give you a moment to come back to yourself when the world is pulling you outward. It’s the exact kind of thing I reach for when I catch myself spiraling.

I have a feeling we are not alone in this.

With love,
Erin