How To Decide What You Want
We were down in Florida for a month.
I was feeling the itch to get back home and back to my routine.
However, we were supposed to stay for one more week.
Do I go back to life as we know it or stay in the warm sunshine even though my daughter wasn’t in school and had very little structure?
I couldn’t decide what I wanted to do.
I realize this is a very privileged decision to make and in the grand scheme, incredibly inconsequential.
But this decision is an example of what many people struggle with for big and small choices.
How do you know what you WANT when you truly feel like you DON’T know what you want!?
When I considered staying in Florida, my thoughts were, “My daughter NEEDS to get back to school. I have work to do. She’s spending too much time on her iPad. I’m neglecting my kid. I’m a bad mom.”
So I went for a walk, which serves as a moving meditation for me. Afterwards, I felt calmer and more centered.
Funny enough, my thoughts were now entirely different. “She’s spending quality time with her grandparents. She’s swimming. We get one more week to enjoy the warmth. She’s totally fiiiiiine. I’m a great and loving mom.”
So what gives? Which voice should we listen to?
When trying to figure out your true desires, tune in to this.
If your desire rises out of irritation, agitation or anxiety, it comes from your ego.
You’ll see the difference between these two reflected in your thoughts.
Your ego thoughts will be in line with fear, not enoughness. (See my first example.)
Your soul thoughts will be gentle, kind, loving and more accepting. (See my second example.)
Here’s the rub.
Even though I made the decision to stay for an extra week, I still had moments where my anxiety rose up to tell me this was a bad decision.
My ego wanted to win out.
And so will yours.
Your ego will always want the last say. It will always be there to give you its opinion.
If you are struggling with a decision try one of these tips:
Option 1: Sit quietly, close your eyes. Maybe put your hand on your heart. Take 5 very long and slow deep breaths. You can repeat one of these mantras: All is well / I’m ok / I am safe / I’m a good person. Don’t think about the decision. Just really take the long, slow deep breaths.
Afterwards, ask yourself what you might like to do. Write down your answer and just sit with it for a bit.
Option 2: Go for a 10 minute walk around the block. Close your computer. Put on your shoes. Bundle up if you need. Just take yourself outside for a nice little walk, breathing in the fresh air. Don’t think about the decision. Just let yourself be. Once you come back, ask yourself what you might like to do. Write down your answer and just sit with it for a bit.
The objective is to move yourself into a calm, grounded place, so that your ego voice quiets down and your soul’s voice has room to love on you.
Can’t wait to hear from you.
P.S. If you’re not a member of The Movement yet, I have tons of meditations AND Soul Strolls in there. They’re all designed to help quiet that ego voice. I would love to have you join. Come check it out. The first 7 days are on me!