I Wanted To Be Her

How much time do you spend feeling jealous of someone else because you think they have what you don’t have?

How much time do you spend wishing you were in a different phase in your life, further along or right on par with where someone else is currently standing?

Last weekend was gorgeous in NYC (yes, I’m back) and I spent the afternoon hanging out in Washington Square Park. I was trying to adjust to being back in the city and this was one of those days where I am pretty sure the coolest/hippest people in New York, maybe even in the world, were hanging out.

It was a little intimidating to be honest.

From the Super Awesome Party Trio playing a rendition of I Throw My Hands Up in the Air Sometimes on the kazoo, to Curtis and Jessie (apparently two Vine stars, who knew that was even a thing) meeting for the first time, to the loads of bikini clad women tanning their toned bodies, NYC was in its prime.

I mean, it was just cool, cool, COOL everywhere you looked.

There was one little girl in particular that caught my eye. She was about 10 years old, dressed in these white sporty track pants, hip kicks, and a perfectly un-perfect ponytail.

She had a camera around her neck and literally seemed to bound from one spot to another snapping pics.

There was something about her.

She had a sense of confidence that you don’t often see in a young girl. You could feel her curiosity and creativity.

She was full of energy and didn’t have a care in the world.

She was in her zone.

I had a visceral reaction. While she was just a young girl, I had this feeling like I wanted to be her. Weird, right? I turned to my friend and said, “Look at her. She just has IT.”

There was a moment of me wishing I were younger (not 10, but younger), more confident, and more full of vavoom.

As the words, “I want to be her,” rolled out of my mouth, I realized, “Wait, what am I saying. No, I am not 10, but on many days I AM curious, I AM confident, and I AM full of energy. On most days, I DO have IT.”

The self-reflection wasn’t coming from a narcissist place; it was coming from a place of owning my own greatness even in the moment that I wasn’t particularly feeling so great.

Feelings of jealousy are normally. There is a study that says the higher a student’s GPA is, the more jealousy they will experience. So perhaps your jealousy is just because you are so damn smart!

But, aside from that, I wanted to give you a 2 step process for kicking the green eyed monster in the tush. Are ya ready?

1. If you can SPOT IT, then you GOT IT.

You wouldn’t be able to recognize qualities in someone else unless you possessed them yourself.

Maybe not those qualities in the exact way they express them, but I guarantee you have shades of them. You wouldn’t recognize them otherwise.

For example, if the person you are jealous of seems to be a pro at promoting themselves on social media and you can barely bring yourself to posting an update, let’s remove the THING THEY ARE DOING and just look at what it takes to do that very thing.

Might you say the quality you wish you had was ‘the confidence to put yourself out there’?

If so, I would ask yourself the question, “In what area or when in my life have I have been courageous enough to put myself out into the world and share something I believed in?”

Maybe it wasn’t through social media; maybe it was just sending an email to a small group of friends asking for their support on a project you were working on.

This still requires that same confidence to put yourself out there.

ACTION: MAKE a list of the QUALITIES the person possesses that you are feeling jealous of, and then circle the ones you know you’ve got, even if it is on a smaller level.

2. Ignite Your Spark!

If there are any qualities on that list that you DON’T feel like you possess at the moment, I invite you to come up with ONE action you can take that would IGNITE those feelings within you.

If I am feeling envious of a girl who happens to put herself together with great style and I am not feeling particular good at fashion (I can’t help but love my workout clothes) I will go the MY STYLE pinterest page, I created. 

I will spend an extra 15 minutes putting together one of the cute patooty outfits I pinned for myself.

Suddenly I am feeling like, “Oh maybe I am more of a fashionista than I thought!”

ACTION: Leave a comment below and tell me ONE quality you want to brighten within yourself.

Then tell me ONE action you are going to take to ignite that quality.

I can’t wait to read what you are going to do!

As always, thank you so much for making space for me in your inbox. I really appreciate you reading, commenting and sharing your life with me. I feel real special and honored.

With love,
Erin