Acceptance Will Help You Stop Struggling
Do you ever feel like you are simply done struggling? You have had enough of this ‘not knowing what to do’, or looking to other people for approval, thinking that they might have the answers yet all the while feeling like you just aren’t moving forward?
If the answer is even close to a yes, read on.
But first, let me ask you another quick question.
Do you watch “The Good Wife”?
In the show Julianna Margulies plays Alicia Florrick, a lawyer who put her career on hold for 13 years to be a stay-at home mom becoming a power lawyer once again (don’t worry, no spoilers here).
She is smart and put together, but we also see Alicia as quite vulnerable, sometimes at a loss for words, and often looking for direction (particularly in this current season) from her male counterparts.
How about “Madam Secretary”? Have you seen this show?
(BTW, yes, in my last post I was talking about turning off the TV. Don’t worry, I’m sticking to it, but I do make exceptions to watch these two shows:)
Madame Secretary stars Tea Leoni as Dr. Elizabeth McCord, a former CIA analyst who becomes Secretary of State.
Aside from being fit and gorgeous (as is Alicia Florrick), Elizabeth McCord really seems to have her you-know-what together.
Like… All. The. Time. She has a handsome husband who she’s always hot for, three kids who get along beautifully, and she is literally saving the world in every episode.
We see her sensitive side, but we rarely see her unravel like we do Alicia. She deals with issues head on, like a boss, the real deal Superwoman.
So, why I am telling you about TV characters?
Well, the other day, I found myself thinking, “I’m so done with Alicia.”
I’m tired of seeing her struggle. She waffles. She wavers. She doesn’t always stand up for herself or take her life by the cojones.
She is often uncertain and plays right to the middle to appease people.
I would never want to be anything like that.
But as I thought of Liz McCord saving the world, I thought, “YES!”
That is who we should strive to be like. A woman who is strong, wickedly smart, runs an entire team of employees, and almost never misses a beat.
She has a sense of clarity and vision. She rises up. She leans in. And she is not so darn affected when someone doesn’t like her.
Have you ever felt that you are done being an ‘Alicia’?
Have you ever thought, ‘I’m done with struggling, falling down, not knowing the answers and screwing up. I’m done feeling small, feeling less-than, thinking ‘I can’t figure a darn thing out’?
I mean, I was about ready to write off the whole show because I didn’t like seeing any part of myself in her. I wanted to only identify with a strong, confident woman like Alex.
Well, dear heart, I have news for you. And my hope is that this news gives you comfort.
The messy truth is that we are, and likely will forever be, like both Alicia and Alex.
You see, as hard as this may be to accept, life is full of opposites, extremes and everything in between.
We are smart and we are sometimes stupid. We are clear-headed but have moments of fogginess. We are loyal and truthful, yet we can be liars about the smallest, silliest things.
We will (and we must!) fail many times before we succeed. We will get bowled over by loss and heartbreak. And will get thrown curve balls that we simply are unable to hit.
But we will also hit home runs. We will fall in love. We will have our you-know-what-together and then we will likely watch it fall apart in small, unexpected moments.
This is the great paradox of life! All it really begs for is your ACCEPTANCE.
Acceptance that at some points in life you may feel betrayed.
Acceptance that you will get hurt by people’s actions and words because you DO actually care what people think.
Acceptance that you may even hurt others along the way.
Acceptance that there will be times when you don’t have a clue which direction to go.
Acceptance that it is ok to not have answers.
Acceptance that the process of making big life-changing decisions can often be an unsavory, back and forth process of “SHOULD I? SHOULDN’T I?”
Acceptance that, eventually, you will get there in your own time. And it will be perfect timing.
Even just writing that, I feel a sense of peace wash over me. I accept and feel a little bit more easy.
The truth is that you don’t have to be like either Alicia or Alex, you can be like, Gorgeous, exactly as you are.
This is not to let you off the hook from trying your hardest and being a good person. This is to remind you that you ARE human. And to be human is to experience all of it, the ups AND the downs.
And the sooner we can accept that life is a jumble of all these beautiful things the more ease we shall experience.
To this I solemnly swear.
There is a new Soul Stroll coming out next week.
The first mantra is:
I ACCEPT MYSELF
EXACTLY AS I AM
When I reached out to folks in the community, this was one of the biggest themes I saw being repeated: The deep desire to feel OK with all parts of your life.
Oh Gorgeous, this next Soul Stroll is going to help you feel more than just ok. It is going to help you feel fabulous.
I will be back next week with more mantras. Stay tuned, it’s coming!
Now it’s your turn: Comment below and tell me what this brought up for you? Are you ready to accept ALL parts of yourself? Share your thoughts.