5 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate

It is not often that I share TOO much about my personal life on the blog. But today, I am making the exception.

I want to share my love story with you.

In case you didn’t know, 6 months ago, I married the man I couldn’t believe I was lucky enough to find. Yes, of course I felt like I deserved it. But I also couldn’t believe  how deep and good and true the love could actually be.  It felt, and still feels, unreal at times.

Flashing back to when I was single, I would read the New York Times wedding section almost each and every week. For a girl who never gave much thought to having an actual wedding of her own, it was an odd thing to do.

It’s not as if I was reading these articles searching for visual inspiration or dress ideas. I truly didn’t care about any of that stuff.

I read this section quite simply because I was searching for love. Deep, true, honest, profound, beautiful, adventurous love.

If all of these people in the NYT, of all different ages, ethnicities, shapes and beliefs could find love after loss, in the face of adversity, or at a corner café, then surely I could, too. These stories served as my beacon of light and possibility.

And that’s why I think it is important to share love stories. Perhaps this will be a beacon of light to you if you are searching for love or even if you are looking to rekindle your current love.

While I am not a ‘relationship expert’ by any stretch, I have become somewhat of an expert on having a relationship with myself. And I am quite certain that is where this all begins.

I believe that seeking this kind of soul filled partnership that so many of us long for, is quite possibly one of the GREATEST, most important and beautiful searches we can go on.

Because while it is about cultivating a beautiful relationship with yourself, it is not about doing it in a vacuum.

Finding the kind of love that I have with Lance is quite possibly the biggest, most beautiful blessing of my life to date.

Meeting him when I did was so totally worth any previous heartbreak, worth any and all gunk and muck I had to go through to get to him. It was worth every frustration, every lonely feeling or disappointment I ever faced until we met. Totally and completely.

I didn’t know that the right kind of partnership would be as fulfilling, satisfying, sweet and comforting as it has been.


My life was amazing and beautiful while I was single. It truly was. And now, as the Michael Franti song goes, “Life is Better With You.” And it’s true. Life is better with Lance.

And so, I am sharing a peek into our wedding album and video, and below that, the story of how we met and also my TOP 6 LOVE LESSONS I picked up on this journey. 

In the end, this independent, free-spirited girl decided she DID want a wedding after all.  We felt that bringing our friends and family together to not only celebrate our love, but to celebrate LOVE in general is the absolute best kind of party to throw!

Don’t you agree?!

Leave a comment below. If you have a partner, I would love for you to share when you met, how long you have been together, and what you believe is the key to a lasting partnership. It will inspire the other readers (and me)!

And if you are single, leave a comment and tell me WHY you believe in love. It’s important to stoke the fires of love when you are looking.

With total love, love, love,
Erin

 

PHOTOGRAPHY: Amy Jo Royall
VIDEO: Kevin Borge Films
HAIR + MAKEUP: South Beach Makeup
FLOWERS: Julia Rohde Design

ERIN + LANCE SHORT FILM

ERIN + LANCE EXTENDED FILM

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OUR STORY:

Funny enough, Lance and I went to elementary school together. I know, it usually gets a big “Awwwww, so cute.” And it is super cute. But, we didn’t really know each other that well. I mean, barely at all. He is a year younger and I moved away when I was about 12 yrs. old.

And who is friends with a younger boy in elementary school?!

However, our paths seemed to cross at a lot of different intersections of our lives. We attended the same Hebrew school and even both ended up at the University of Illinois around the same time. Yet, all this time, we barely knew one another.

LOVE LESSON #1: OUR LITTLE BRAINS CAN’T EVEN CONCEIVE SOME OF THE GREATNESS LIFE HAS IN STORE FOR US. WE CAN’T EVEN IMAGINE IT.

With all the intention setting, manifesting and dreaming we do (and should do!) I would have never written out, “I will meet a boy I went to elementary school with and fall in love.” NEVER! A lesson in letting Life do her work.

Flash-forward many, many years later, I was teaching a class at Equinox in NYC. He saw and recognized my name on the schedule and decided to come take my class.

Rare to see a tall, handsome gentleman in my class, I wondered who that ‘guy’ was in the back of the room.

Afterwards he came up, introduced himself and immediately I remembered the 11-year-old version of him. We chatted for a bit, said we should get together for a coffee, and said goodbye.

However, at the time, I was seeing someone else and while Lance wasn’t exactly asking me on a date, I thought it better to just keep it a friendly gym run-in and never made too much of an effort to make that coffee date happen.

But Life has a funny way of intervening. Several months later, I was visiting with friend who had come to town from Portland, Oregon. We had initially met through an online program.

LOVE LESSON #2: FOLLOW AND STAY CLOSE WITH YOUR SOUL CONNECTIONS, THEY LEAD YOU TO OTHER SOUL CONNECTIONS.

From the moment we started messaging each other online, I knew Samantha Brody was a life-long friend. We had what I call a “soul connection”. I simply couldn’t wait to meet her in person.

She was Air BNB’ing an apartment downtown in NYC. It was a rainy Friday afternoon in the middle of the day. The plan was to meet for tea, but since it was raining we decided I would come to the place she was renting.

I walked into the lobby and–lo and behold–there was Lance. Middle of the day! I said, “What are you doing here?” and he said, “I live here!”

At this point, things in my other relationship had changed and when I saw Lance this time, I felt that beat, beat, beat of my heart doing something funny. He was so tall. And so cute. And so calm. And well, maybe it WAS time to get together for a coffee!

So I sent him a Facebook message later that day and said, we really SHOULD get together.

LOVE LESSON #3 LADIES, FORGET THIS SHIT ABOUT ONLY WAITING FOR THE GUY TO REACH OUT.

Sometimes a guy needs to know you are interested. If being straightforward and saying you want to see him (without being pushy or needy, of course) scares a guy away, he ain’t your guy. Don’t be scared to share your feelings. Of course, if they are not met, no need to push it.

In my case, Lance replied and we set up a time to get a glass of wine.

From that first get together, I had this feeling. In my mind, I saw our whole love story get written. The whole thing. You know how they say that? Well, I never really believed I would be someone who would have THAT feeling. But there it was.

But I also had another feeling along with it. Our love story wasn’t going to start right away. I wasn’t totally available at that point, and while we didn’t discuss too much of our personal lives that night, I had a feeling that while he may have been interested, he was not totally available either… at least emotionally. He will beg to differ and say that he was. But a woman knows. He wasn’t.

The next day, he sent me an email. He was very straightforward and, of course, still sweet. He said he had a great time last night and would like to take me to dinner.

LOVE LESSON #4 WHILE THIS MAY SEEM COUNTER-INTUITIVE TO LESSON #3, IF A MAN DOESN’T MAKE IT CLEAR THAT YOU ARE WHO HE WANTS TO SEE AND THAT HE DOESN’T REALLY WANT TO WAIT TO LONG TO SEE YOU, HE MAY NOT BE WHAT YOU ARE LOOKING FOR.

I obviously don’t know what you are looking for. But in my experience with guys of all kinds, it’s important that a man have some certainty about you. You see, by nature, men are much more definitive and black and white than women are.

Our nature is to flow a bit, Yin. Their nature is more action, Yang. Force. Forward movement. If he is not certain of whether or not he is interested in exploring something with you, meaning he is wishy-washy or non-committal, it is likely going to be a drag.

This doesn’t mean he has to know that he wants to marry you! It just means he has to know YOU are interesting to him and he is not afraid to explore that interest.

Back to the story.  As I mentioned, I wasn’t quite available or ready to dive in to something at that time. I was excited about the prospect of seeing him again, but there were still things I needed to work out within myself.

And, if I am being totally honest, I got scared. I didn’t know if my excitement about him was just a distraction from a relationship that wasn’t satisfying me, or if it was something real to explore.

And when we got together a second time, I made it clear that I wasn’t really available to turn this into “something” right now. While he was disappointed, he was a total gentleman.

We decided that perhaps we should just be friends for the time being. And that is what we did. For several months. We would get together for coffee. Or have breakfast. Or take a soul stroll. And there was nothing physical happening between us during that time.

I mean, don’t get me wrong, there was a strong attraction building, but we kept it platonic.

LOVE LESSON #5 HAVING SEX EARLY ON WHEN DATING SOMEONE IS NOT A BAD THING AND NOT HAVING SEX WITH SOMEONE IS ALSO NOT A BAD THING.

Look, I don’t have the answer to this magical question. Should you be intimate before there is a commitment (as the great Patty Stanger would suggest)? I don’t really know. I think great relationships have worked out with either scenario.

But, I will say this: getting to know Lance without the layer of a sexual intimacy was really nice. We became friends and took a lot of time to talk and get to know one another. Would we have done the same if sex were involved from the beginning? Probably? Maybe? But the truth is, having sex with someone adds another layer. You are now intertwined in a physical way. And so there will be other emotions to navigate as result. Emotions that aren’t there when you are “just” friends.

Again, it’s not bad. It’s just different. So recognize the difference when you choose one or the other.

During those several months of getting to know one another, I had been diligently working on myself and working through some of the fears I was having around relationships.

What I finally came to realize was that I did not want to settle in a relationship. I had been so scared for so long that I was “high maintenance” or that I was never going to be satisfied in ANY relationship that I started to believe that perhaps I should just be ok with “good enough”.

But, I decided that NO, “good enough” wasn’t good enough. I wanted BIG, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL LOVE. And if I wasn’t going to have that, I was ok with the idea that I might be alone. I felt certain that being alone was going to be better then settling.

LOVE LESSON #6 GET REALLY CLEAR ON WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT TO YOU REGARDING A RELATIONSHIP.

If getting married and having kids is more important than finding that BIG, BEAUTIFUL love I wanted, I would never judge you for it. People get married for ALL different kinds of reasons ALL the time. None of them are right or wrong. They are just personal reasons. And all of them are acceptable and important. Truly.

I want you to get this. Your reasons for wanting partner do not have to be the same reasons as someone else.

But decide what YOUR reasons are. What do you want in a partnership? Do you want someone who you know would make a great parent? Or does that not matter so much? Do you need someone who will stimulate you intellectually or can you find that elsewhere?

For me, I knew I couldn’t walk down the aisle unless I was deeply, madly, passionately in love, and unless I knew that that person wanted to have a big, adventurous life together. That was my must. Sure, there were a few others things, but I will share that in another post.

And you know what? I found it. I found what I was looking for. And it was so worth the wait.

I am deeply, madly and passionately in love with Lance. Everything we do together, even if it is sitting on the couch watching Game of Thrones, feels like a fun adventure. There is truly no one else I would rather have beside me for the rest of my life.

I feel like the luckiest girl in the whole wide world.

And my wish for you is that you have the kind of love YOU want. The kind of LOVE that fills you up. The kind of LOVE that makes you MORE of who you are and who you want to be. The kind of LOVE that makes you WANT to be generous. The kind of LOVE that makes you want to receive. The kind of LOVE that makes you feel like you can and will do anything you set your little heart to.

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86 Responses to 5 Secrets to Finding Your Soul Mate

  1. Beth says:

    First – I had NO idea you went to University of Illinois – so did I! I’m guessing we were there around the same time as well. What a small world!

    Second – thanks so much for sharing your story. I’m still looking for love and just recently realized that “big, beautiful love” was what my goal was and I wasn’t settling for anything less. I’ve probably always known this even when I thought I wanted marriage and family most – which is why none of my past relationships have worked. I’ve had my heart and trust broken (who hasn’t?) and haven’t gone a “good” date in over two years – but I still believe it will happen. I have no idea why I believe I’ll find that love I’m looking for – but I truly believe it in my heart. Until then, I’m living my best life and enjoying all the “perks” to being single 🙂

    • Samantha says:

      Beth I so relate to you too – and want to add, you will find it! Thank you Erin for sharing your beautiful story, and I SO LOVE holding out for that BIG, ADVENTUROUS, LOVE. I had spent a lot of my life thinking of relationships as growth . . . thinking that no one is perfect and how much I wanted to love. And while I still think that no is perfect (or really, we’re all perfectly expanding and growing all the time) . . . I will no longer settle in my expectations of what this incredible universe can deliver. I’m ready for a deep, generous love. I’m ready for a big adventure! Also, I have really discovered what a joy it is to get to know someone, and how much love I already can cultivate in my life.

      The other thing I loved about your story, is that you let it become! You didn’t overly focus (as I certainly have, maybe we all have) on this great love that you wanted to find… You didn’t try to compromise (on what mattered) and force it into happening . . . You LIVED and you TRUSTED . . . So much goodness in this story! And I love touching upon the feeling of this big adventurous love of mine, in reading the story that is yours. Until he comes along I will whole-heartedly be enjoying the BIG adventure that already is my life. 😀

  2. Jessica Duguet says:

    Waoooh!!! Just a wonderdul story and also an inspiring one.
    I’m single and over the past years I was always not happy about that and I tried everything including dating websites.
    But couldn’t find what I wanted so I gave up and got depressed. Fortunately, now I’m grateful that I didn’t meet anyone during those years because I wasn’t ready. Like you, I had a lot of issues to address before committing to anyone. That what I’m doing and I know that I’m getting closer and closer to that stage of being ready to be in a relationship. I’m almost there now I accept myself for who I am and that being in love or with someone does not mean I have to stop being myself.
    Thanks for sharing your story, it helps not giving hope.

  3. Miha says:

    What a beautiful story and post Erin! Thanks for sharing. I used to read the same section in NYT before meeting my husband, for exactly the same reason 🙂

  4. Barbara says:

    Thanks for sharing this. It was heart warming and inspiring. Best of luck to you and Lance.

  5. Marji says:

    Erin,
    I just want to say that I love your love story! Thanks so much for sharing it–along with your bits of advice! I think my daughter (who is single) may appreciate both–hearing about your positive experience in love and your love “lessons” as well.
    All the best to you and Lance!
    Marji

  6. Soraya says:

    WHAT A BEAUTIFUL LOVE STORE!!!!! Wishing you and your husband a life full of beautiful blessings and unconditional love

  7. Joanne says:

    Hi Erin,
    Thank you for sharing your love story. It is beautiful and perfect for you and Lance. I so appreciate your knowing that your love story is not everybody’s love story. That there is no one right way for a love story to happen, to be. Wise woman you are. I feel blessed to have connected with you. Sending warm, loving energy to you and to you and Lance as a couple.
    Namaste,
    Joanne

  8. Shayla says:

    Wow! Beautiful story! Thanks so much for sharing. I’m single and feel exactly the same way that you did…I want BIG, BEAUTIFUL LOVE and some people just don’t understand that. This post will be a source of strength for me during those difficult times when I feel unsure of whether or not I will find the BIG and BEAUTIFUL. Thanks for the good advice and inspiration!

  9. Bre-An says:

    Erin,

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story and the lessons you learned. I am so happy for you!!!

    Hugs,
    Bre-An

  10. Vicki says:

    Erin,

    What a beautiful, romantic story thank you for sharing! I can’t imagine your love story unfolding any other way! 🙂

    I have been married 26 years and can hardly remember the day. Your pictures inspired me to look back at my wedding album and try to remember those feelings of love and excitement to be marrying my best friend! Thank you.

    Best of luck to you and Lance for many happy years!

  11. Congrats on finding your one and only Erin! I was always the same way, I never thought about the wedding or thought that I wanted one but we ultimately realized that we craved all our friends and family together to celebrate and have their loving joy surround us when we married. I’m so glad we did bc it was the most fun + exciting + joy filled day of our lives!!!… and judging by the pictures yours too! <3 p.s. Gorgeous pics + videos!!! I love your love story!

  12. Alessandra says:

    Dear Erin, thank you for sharing your story. what a lovely story !!!! The first lesson I am learning is that while we have be clear about our desires and how we want to feel in life, we always have to keep a door open for the Universe to step in and deliver the gifts for us. The relationship with my soul mate dates back 2001 (14 years … quite an age). What I have learnt these years is: 1) my soul-mate is still the only person I am willing to share “my roof” with … I would not share my daily life (in terms of sharing the same house) with anyone else. No more butterflies in my belly when I see him … as they have been replaced by LOVE (not just falling in love), TRUST and RESPECT; these are the bricks of our long-lasting relationship. The cherry for the cake being FREEDOM, meaning that we allow ourselves to truly manifest ourselves. I.e. my soulmate is not the guy who tells me “I Love you” but he shows his love through ACTIONS instead … i.e. when we are invited to parties, he makes sure there is always I may eat (being on a gluten/dairy free diet because of my hypothiroid); he buys little unexpected gifts for me, takes care of the laundry, takes care of cooking … he does not tell me he loves me; HE DOES TAKE CARE OF ME. I feel we are supportive to each other and I think this is the secret for a relationship to last. Take good care !

  13. Chelsea says:

    Ah, this was just beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your journey through love with us. It’s always so refreshing and helpful to hear love lessons from another soul-powered woman 🙂 Your love is inspiring!

  14. Linda says:

    Dearest Erin–I read every word,watched every minute of each video and looked at every picture as if we were close friends or even family.I can’t find the words to express what I feel for you and Lance–your families and friends blessed to know you personally…I agree with everything and I join in with shouting LOVE! As you know, I am deeply moved by everything you write and have purchased every workout–I am INSPIRED by you and am EXCITED for you and Lance! Mazel Tov !!! XXOO Linda

  15. Rachel says:

    This is amazing, so encouraging and so special. I love your 6 lessons and agree. You should share this with Gabrielle Bernstein, she would probably love it. She’s a spirit soul guru.

  16. Joanne says:

    Thank you for this. Perfect timing of course. As I have been on a journey since my divorce to self love and purpose and they are one in the same. I am at a point now where I love me and my life and am beginning to speak, teach, share with others to empower themselves to be all they can be. Lately now that I like myself and I don’t feel a need to have anyone in my life anymore, I have been questioning, do I want a partner or I am going to disappoint etc. You just reminded me the perfect partner will show up for me and it can be incredible. Thank You. I am now open and ready to receive.

  17. Carly says:

    I love this Erin! I believe in deep, true, beautiful love too. And I love how you want your relationship to be an adventure. I love my life, and wouldn’t settle for anything less.
    xxx

  18. Andrea Boyle says:

    This story…. well your story… had me smiling. Life is amazing and we never know what tomorrow will bring to us!!

  19. Rachel says:

    Thank you, thank you for opening up your life and showing how beautiful LOVE can be. It gives me hope and inspiration. Seeing the joy in your faces and light in your eyes cracks open my heart a little more and helps me heal….this love is possible.

    You are a beautiful soul!

  20. Sarah says:

    In your e-mail, you asked “If you have a partner, I would love for you to share when you met, how long you have been together and what you believe is the key to a lasting partnership. It will inspire the other readers (and me)!”

    I have been married to my husband (Kyle) for 5 years; we have been a couple for 11. We did the long-distance thing for 5 years (usually we were only 100 miles apart, but we did do a year-long stint of 2,000 miles apart.) He has been my best friend for 13 years – we would mountain bike together and go to cheap punk rock shows and drink slurpees when we were younger. Now, he’s still my best friend and we still go biking together. We’ve traded punk rock shows for camping and canoeing though.

    We’ve been through a lot in our time together- graduate school, medical issues, financial issues… but the thing that has kept us together is the knowledge that we choose to be with each other. We choose to build our friendship still. We choose to take time to improve our lives together. We choose to love.

    The feelings of attraction will wax and wane, but when you choose to ride it out, love becomes second nature… and you both become more experienced at enjoying the ride.

    • Erin says:

      Thank you for sharing your beautiful story. I love the trade for punk shows and of course your dear affection for your beloved. Xox

  21. Nicole says:

    Thank you for sharing so much of your heart and soul in the work outs, videos, mantras, and now your love story. Bless you both.

  22. Katie Tyson says:

    I absolutely love this story! I believe deep BIG love is the most meaningful part of life, and I really seek to find my One. Sometimes it feels so daunting but I just absolutely love your perspective of ease and trust. It is a breath of fresh air. I especially love your perspective on men being more black and white- that is truly the most refreshing and least anxiety-producing way I’ve heard the old “he’s just not that into you” adage articulated. I’ve had an ex come back into my life in a very wishy-washy way and you’re so right – if he’s putting up barriers and blocks, he isn’t for me. And I’m definitely not willing to settle. I’d love if you could hold the intention for me to find the love of my life.

  23. Lyn says:

    Beautiful love story! Thanks for sharing!

    I have been blessed to have that powerful kind of love in my life 2 times. My first husband Mike died at the age of 36 after a battle with cancer leaving me with our 3 young children and I never thought I could have that beautiful and amazing love again in my life, but I have found it again. I got remarried 2 years ago to the most amazing man who loves me differently than my 1st husband, but it is just as powerful and amazing. He loves my kids like his own and honors their fathers memory at the same time.

    Love is worth waiting for and sometimes in a crazy beautiful life amazing things happen twice!

    • Erin says:

      Oh my. This melts my heart and makes me so happy to hear. I hope you share your story with many as I know it likely inspires people as well. How blessed you are! Thank you for sharing this. xoxo

  24. Jessica Scheer says:

    Erin- so beautiful to watch the video and see more of the photos from your wedding. You and Lance light each other up (though I knew that right when I saw you two together!) and I wish you both a lifetime of joy, love and adventure. xoxo Jess

  25. Danielle says:

    Beautiful, Erin… just perfect! Congratulations!

  26. Valerie S. says:

    Erin, what a beautiful story! I am so happy your life is filled with love with the man of your dreams-it looks like you had an incredibly special day to celebrate. My husband is my first kiss, first boyfriend, first everything and we got married when I was 17. Twenty years later, I cannot imagine having anyone else love me or take care of me the way he does. I love him so much and it’S all about the little things. Sometimes you think love is planning big surprises but to me, it’S about showing the person you care. I am blessed with someone who does this every day and I enjoy returning it too him. We have two great kids who I hope are seeing how marriage can be instead of what the typical one looks like these days. We grew up together and I’ve been in love with my hubby sonce I was 7 or 8 but I never knew the blessing God had in store for me with him. Your love story is amazing and I wish you a lifetime of big, adventurous love!

    • Erin says:

      Yes, I agree. It is the little daily things of showing you care. Those most certainly are the nuggets that make a beautiful life. Thank you for sharing YOUR love story here. It delights me! And your children are blessed to witness it:) xoxo

  27. Miah says:

    Erin, your wedding video was absolutely beautiful and heart-warming. It brought me to tears. The love and passion between you and Lance is visible in those images, even to those of us who don’t know you personally. You are a very lucky woman to have found true, deep, passionate, beautiful love, and you inspire me to keep looking and to not settle for less. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story with us.

  28. Jamie says:

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m always so curious how people find love in New York because it’s been a very long, winding and often painful journey for me so far. I’m single and I have an awesome, adventurous, fulfilling single life. AND a deep yearning to find my BIG LOVE and have a family. In the past people have said I was too picky as I ended one superficial, short-lived, uninspiring “relationship” after the other. I now know I wasn’t picky enough. I didn’t believe enough. I didn’t honor myself enough. I settled for whoever was available and I worked so hard to make it work. So in the past two years I’ve been able to let go of “have a family” part of the equation and focus on that BIG LOVE part, which is the most important to me. I’ve been MUCH PICKIER! And I have never been happier and more open to love. It hasn’t YET lead to my BIG LOVE but I KNOW in my soul that it will.

    • Erin says:

      Honey, I can’t wait til you find it and will celebrate it with you! You are love, loving and loved. This I know for sure. Love you, Ms. Jamie! xo

  29. Shannon A says:

    Thanks for sharing your story! What a beautiful reflection on love!
    I have been married to my best friend for 16 years. We met our first semester of college, and were married right after our third year of college. I know, we were babies. Through these years, we have survived grad school, moves, and career changes, and now raising two beautiful children. Our secret is being fluid with each other…bending WITH each other as we grow and change, rather than expecting that we will always be the same as we were when we met or when we married. Whether you get married in college or later in life, we cannot expect that either person will stop changing and growing, so it is imperative that we learn to go with the flow, while staying in the same stream.

    • Erin says:

      Thank YOU for sharing your love story and your lessons. They are so very wise! Fluidity and bending as you grow. Sounds like the exact recipe for success. Wishing you many many more years of happiness together! xo

  30. Lynn says:

    So happy for you and Lance! I pray that you will both be blessed in your marriage through the ups and downs growing stronger as a couple as you navigate this life together. Your story touched a deep part of my soul and the type of man you are looking for is in essence what I have been waiting for. I’ve been divorced for almost 12 years and have experienced an amazing love once in my life (obviously it did not end well) but my story is not done yet. I’m trusting God to bring my “sexy man of God” to me in His timing. I’ve been tempted to settle many times and have ended up in far too many relationships with men who were not emotionally available. I’d love to travel this world (and while I can do that as a single person, I’d really like to experience that with my soul mate). Your story brought tears of renewed hope and purpose that my decision not to settle for anyone other than God’s best for me is the right one. Sometimes us single ladies just need that reminder. So in the meantime, I’ll enjoy this season of my life. I did a missions trip last year and plan to do another. Thank you for sharing! And of course…you looked absolutely beautiful!! 🙂 Blessings, Lynn

  31. Gis says:

    THANK YOU for sharing your love story and your advices, you truly have a kind heart and I’ve been inspired by you! Congratulations!!

  32. Ema says:

    Erin – you and your story is an inspiration itself. For the love of yourself and others. Without learning how to love yourself and actually doing it – it is impossible to truly love another person.

    I love your classes and miss them much since you’re away this month. They do inspire all of us for great things and being more confident and stronger. Just as your love story. It is beautiful!

    Currently, I am single. Why am I looking for love? – life is much more beautiful and every experience is greater when you can share it with your soulmate.

    Thank you for all, the inspiration and helping us all grow.
    Excited for you both!
    Mazetov!

  33. Yoojin says:

    omg, i’m bouncing up and down in my chair after reading/watching all this. THANK YOU ERIN for sharing. i’ve been dying to see all these beautiful pictures! i started getting chills, then goofy smiles, and finally, happy tears as i progressed through the post!

    i’m in a relationship now and it will soon be our 4 year mark in a few months!
    my boyfriend and i met in our college physics class, electrodynamics and magnetism (yes, nerdsssss). we were both physics majors, him a year older, and i was starting to embark undergraduate research. coincidentally, in the same lab he was doing his research. we started building a new friendship that included similarities in music, so we even started a radio show together for the university’s radio. at this point, he was still in a long distance relationship (that he admits should’ve never started) so i just thought he was a super nice and fun guy who i befriended. but i couldn’t deny the attractive pull towards him the more i got to know him.

    long story short, his long distance relationship ended and he took the lunge to ask me out to a concert. our friendship organically turned into more of a “relationship,” involving never ending texts, homework/study sessions, and long nights in the research lab.

    after college, he and i had to go our separate ways, (him medical school, and me graduate school) so we are currently doing the whole long distance relationship thing. let me tell you, it SUCKS. and it’s SUPER DIFFICULT. there were times where i just wanted to throw everything away and say “i’m done.” but somehow, he and i would calm ourselves and have really deep conversations about us and how we see our futures. i do think the distance made us grow as a couple together and i’m glad that we were able to push through the endeavors.

    although i think the long distance relationship taught us very valuable lessons, still… i would try to avoid it. that’s my tip 😉

  34. Eleonora says:

    What an inspiring story Erin! A lot to think about! Thank you so so much!

    Lovelovelove xxx

  35. So happy to see your beautiful day. Thanks for sharing and I am absolutely thrilled for you xxx

  36. Heather says:

    Erin,

    That’s such a wonderful story! And you can completely feel your excitement and love throughout this piece. I was curious as to when or what tipped the scale for you from friendship to a romantic relationship. Some people feel that BIG BEAUTIFUL love should be an instant connection – and your relationship sounds like it developed organically over time and got stronger over time. I guess my question is how or when do you realize it was something more and how did it proceed to becoming so abundant?

    • Erin says:

      Good question:) I actually felt VERY strongly about our connection from the get go. Every time we got together, even as friends, I couldn’t wait to see him. And I thought about him all the time. So it was really just a matter of me being ready within myself to make a go of it. But I agree, sometimes things develop slowly over time. This was pretty strong from the beginning and only got stronger:) xo

  37. Judy Ben-Asher says:

    I met Dan in fifth grade at jewish day school in Tucson Az, we were a class of just 10 kids and great friends. Then he went to boarding school in Israel for high school and we lost touch. We ran into each other when were 18 back in Tucson and dated briefly when he cruley dumped me for a lovely blond. lol I volunteered for the Israeli army and was off, then moved to Jamaica. We lost touch and 21 years later Face Book said we had friends in common. He friended me there, we chatted for about 2 months and I had been living in LA and he was in Texas. He came to visit/move in IF it felt right. I knew I would marry him as soon as I saw him come over the hill…before he even got xout if the car. We were engaded a year later and we have been blissfully married since. It’s only been 6 years but it has only gotten better! I wasn’t ready or good enough for him when I was 18! He and we aren’t perfect by any means but we are perfect together and ballance eachother in a way I am just so grayeful for! Thank you for sharing all your love stories and you beautiful wedding with all of us Erin!! What a gift it all is!! Xoxo

  38. Sharon says:

    dear Erin,

    Thank you for sharing. I have been single for 18 years and holding out for a man who was not, and is still not available…. I tried internet dating but felt I was too independent and that I had done to much in life. (Lived and worked in five countries, travelled around the world 3 times and done several years volunteering). Men I met did not make me feel as though they would be strong for me in a rrlationship, and I was solo tired of being strong for myself.

    Then, whilst finishing up a short term admin contract I chatted with a colleague about dancing and when he said he wanted to learn I invited him to a class I enjoyed. In short this man, Rupert, made me feel cared for from the very start! He held the door open, made me laugh, told me from day two, that he thought that men should communicate better with women, and that he wasn’t going anywhere and he was in it for the long term. In fact on the third day he told me that he could see us married in a year. We are now three and a half months in.

    I can hardly believe the changes in myself; I am less serious and so much more hopeful about the future. He has made my world feel solid, he has made me want to put down roots. I have had the most marvellous life, full of excitement, but now I feel an we chapter coming on, with many more adventures. He has a little girl (he is a widower), so I will inherit a seven year old, and will get the family that I thought I had left too late.

    I am so grateful that I waited so long for this wonderful man as he is worth the heartache and loneliness that sometimes accompanied my otherwise exciting life. I knew after that first date that we were meant to be together. Each day we learn so much more about each other and I can’t wait to be officially his.

    I am confidently waiting for that day to arrive,

    Sharon

  39. Wendy says:

    Love the photo of you twirling from above 😉 Love truly is what this journey is about; love in all it’s guises.
    Sweet blessings to you both. My hubby and I have been together 24yrs (in 4 days time!), married 22 and still adore each other. Met at work and slowly became friends, and that has been the key for us …. Falling in love with your best friend, and always being each other’s best friend. Connection and communication and honesty X

  40. Shanna says:

    I loved this.

    I’m always itching to tell my love story because, three years in (still comparatively new I know!), and my heart still overflows. I met my man in an ASL college course. He held the door open for me and did a double take as he glanced back to make sure I caught the door. All in an instant, I felt home. That experience of just seeing a life unfolding was surreal. My soul, in that moment, recognized in him what I didn’t even know I wanted yet.

    I would spend a year denying that moment of certainty. It seemed wayyyy to vulnerable to just “know.” I had left an abusive relationship a year prior, and much of me was still clinging on to the anger that had initially led me to freedom, but was no longer serving me.

    As it was an American Sign Language class, we were unable to speak, so it was an awkward attempt to get to know someone through signs we didn’t quite have the hang of yet, and 15 min breaks to roam the halls. He started walking me out to my car after class and I eventually invited him to join me for some crepes. (First move for the win!) He has been my home ever since.

    I guess my biggest love lesson has been allowing myself to not be afraid to count on someone.

    We encourage one another in our individual pursuits, we find projects to work on together, and it is definitely a relationship that brings me higher.

    Love is real, abundant; the only requirement is that you breathe it in.

    xx

  41. Sherry says:

    Your love story is SO inspiring and beautiful. <3

    For myself… that's complicated. I'm single — that part's easy to say. But I've spent my life filled with self-doubt and self-loathing, hating myself and my body — even when I wasn't overweight! I just couldn't see that I wasn't actually overweight, I picked apart any potential flaw, and then I turned it into self-fulfilling prophesy by actually gaining a lot of weight. And it is really, really tough to find love when you don't love yourself.

    Now I'm finally starting to work on these things about myself, trying to work through the emotional garbage via therapy, but I feel like I've wasted so much time. I think part of me feels resigned to never finding anyone because I'm already 42 and I've got lots of weight to lose (emotionally and physically). As a result I feel so emotionally stunted when it comes to dating because I spent so much time being afraid and not feeling good about myself or seeing anything good about myself that I don't know that I'd know HOW to navigate such waters, having such little experience.

    And I don't want to settle for any relationship just because I finally get my stuff together and find someone who is nice to me, you know what I mean? I want what you talked about, that kind of real, deep, emotionally connective love, where you couldn't imagine how amazing it could be but it IS and it's right and it's work but it's worth it. I just don't know if that's in the cards for me, given how long it's taking me to get there emotionally and physically.

  42. Kathy says:

    My Big Love didn’t come until I was 47, but Oh was it worth the wait! I married young because everyone was doing it–not because of overwhelming, once-in-a-lifetime love. The gift of that was my most beautiful daughter. The marriage was short lived but I created a rich life for my daughter and I. My commitment for all those years was to her…don’t get me wrong, I kissed a few frogs along the way…but no one was ever worth giving up the sanctity of my life with just my daughter. As she was nearing the end of high school and I knew she would be spreading her wings off to college, I “placed my order with the universe” and wrote down everything I was looking for and hoping for in my Big Love. About a year later, on a beautiful summer day I was at an outdoor concert in this beautiful field, and there he was. We had grown up across the street from one another but lost touch after he went off to college and his parents moved south. I knew the instant I saw him and that smile crept across his face when he realized who I was that everything I’d been through up to that point had been preparation for that moment. Big Love. Joy. Contentment. It was right from the moment I laid eyes on him and 4 years later I am so grateful for the richness of this life together.
    Thanks for sharing your story. I wept as I watched the videos and offered up so much thanks for my own love story.

  43. erika says:

    dear erin, what an amazing story and amazing post. thank you so much for being so generous to share it. i’m sitting here watching the video tears streaming down my face and i just feel so much love. you are an amazing soul. it is so great that you have found a partner for life. congratulations and thank you because it is stories like these that give hope and shed a beacon of light for us.

  44. Carolyn says:

    Erin,
    I can’t tell you how timely this is. I literally just posted “lessons learned on becoming single AGAIN” on my blog. I am divorced, in my 40s and just ended a relationship with someone who became skittish about our relationship because my children needed time and patience adjusting to a new man in our lives. I want and deserve a relationship with someone who is 100% on board and thrilled with being with me and my children. You just instilled a little more hope in me that my soul mate and best friend will come to manifest. I live my life as fully as I can with all that I manage. It would make it so much more fun and fulfilling to have a loving and supportive partner to share it all with!

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories with us. I wish you many years of happiness filled with blessings galore.

    Best,
    Carolyn

  45. Felicia says:

    I cried watching your vows. It is inspiring to know that LOVE exists after heartache. I was lost in a marriage for 17 years where I was no longer myself and was just going through the motions of being a wife and mother. Of course not all those years were bad but somewhere in all our days I started to know that this was not the life I had planned for myself. We fought a lot and things went from bad to worse & ultimately it ended in divorce. Four years later I have a new life. I have found the Love I always knew I wanted but never had.I am getting married in October, I hope it’s as beautiful and amazing as your day! I honestly know that I have found the LOVE of my life! He makes me want to be the person he thinks I am. He tells me constantly how much he loves me but more than that he shows me in every action he makes. All of those Love lessons brought me to where I am today. My only regret is that we met so late in our lives that I will run out of time to love him forever!

  46. What a beautiful post, Erin! And perfectly timed. I was just talking with my roommate about needing to start asking couples how they met. I find it always gets the energy moving when I am open for a relationship.

    And I am in total agreement with you- I am ready for a big, epic, amazing romance and nothing else is going to cut it. So if you and Lance know any awesome guys near Asheville, let me know 🙂

    Love to you, mwuah!!!
    Emily

  47. Kristin says:

    This email came at the perfect time in my mailbox. I can’t wait to share my love story with you all! It is still in the making but it is definitely one worth sharing. 🙂

    Growing up, I have always been a hopeless romantic. I was always sensitive. I have grown up in a household that is not supportive of the lightworker in me. I was the lover in my house that gave love and never received it in the ways I needed. Therefore, I was very independent since I raised myself. I have always had a deep inner knowing that there was so much out there in life. I kept my chin up and always placed my faith in God. In return I became an independent go-getter that had big dreams. I was always the hopeless romantic that would watch countless romantic comedies over and over again. I seriously know almost every line from The Notebook. The old soul in me was looking for more than immature relationships. I also had a lot of fear based thoughts in settling for the wrong person, betrayal, etc. from my upbringing. I wanted a life partner to share all of my amazing life experiences with. I wanted/want intense intimacy, connection, support, adventure, compassion, and unconditional love. I want my partnership to be a divine example of unconditional love to all as we shine our light and love throughout the universe.

    It was with my first major heartbreak that I began my spiritual awakening when I was 20 years old. I am not going to go into details but God gave me a crash course in the many lessons that come entangled with love. It was very difficult but it was one of the most empowering, invigorating paths I have taken so far. I became awake and God has sent so many wise, compassionate women that act as guides for me on this journey.

    It was about 6 months from my first major heartache that happened on my birthday on June 1st that the man who is my soulmate entered my life in November. I knew my heart was aching. I came to the realization during the summer that I am young and that if I don’t open my heart, I am not really living life. I knew God had someone else out there for me but it was difficult to heal and forgive and open my heart up again. There were no men in my area that resonated with me on a deeper level. I tried the dating scene again but most guys just wanted hookups. Others I lacked chemistry with. And every potential guy I felt some connection to didn’t last past one date. I call this divine intervention. lol It was as if God said “Nope! Not that one!”. I don’t even know if I should say I truly took part in a dating scene since it was all short lived.

    I decided to try out online dating. And to be honest, I really didn’t have the attention to meet any of the men. My friend suggested sites like plenty of fish and Ok Cupid. She was way more ballsy and willing to actually meet people than me. I did it more for the messages I received from men. I was very lonely and their compliments (take away all the creepy messages) made me open my heart a little more. During this time I went on a date with a guy that I was able to have 3 hour long phone conversations with. I also had a thing going on with a guy from one of my classes. Both fell through. I just didn’t get why nothing was working out. I felt all the heartache and loneliness return. I decided to give up on social media for meeting people. I prayed hardcore one night asking God to please bring whoever is meant to be the one into my life right away because I don’t want to feel this pain anymore.

    That’s when my soulmate came into my life. I was rarely going on my online dating accounts. I would go on there on occasion. I figured that if it was meant to be, the right guy would find me. I just didn’t expect the right guy would be the first to message me. He seemed like such a nice guy. However shortly after the beginning of our conversation he said he enlisted in the marines and asked if that was a problem. I said no but to be frank it was. I just didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I drifted away from messaging him. I focused on finals. Something in my mind kept bringing me back to him and “What if?”. I decided I needed to message him because I need to give a nice guy a chance. And heck, we were 98% compatible. ANNNNDDDDD, it turned out that he lived the next town over. I couldn’t believe it. This guy is a real person. lol

    I call him my Christmas miracle. We started to really have deeper conversation around the holiday season. He was to leave for bootcamp at the end of January. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t some kind of hookup he was looking for. The energy felt like much more. He asked about my family and my dreams.

    This is the part where divine intervention really wanted me to learn patience and perseverance. We tried going on multiple dates before he left for bootcamp. Every single time something went wrong with our communication. Technology failed. I thought maybe God doesn’t want me to meet him. Or maybe we are not meant to meet yet? He promised to take me out on the most amazing date when he got back.

    I am still waiting on that date. BUT, since he has come along during my spiritual awakening it is crazy how many signs I receive that only point to him. I could right a whole book on all the signs. I get them so often. At first I thought I was making them up but they come out of the blue. My guides and angels have such creative minds, they create the best romantic signs a girl can dream of to have in her love story.

    I had some heartache with this guy too though. He met a girl when he was away even though we developed a even deeper connection. It was a sticky situation because he physically met her and not me even though he had feelings for me too. He lived in the moment. I didn’t. He had to explore that relationship. I felt heartbroken but it subsided quickly because my angels and guides kept reassuring me with dreams and signs. Even in meditation, I get glimpses of my future family with him. I am holding on to my faith. I have a deep inner knowing that he is the one.

    We left it as whatever is meant to happen and if we are both single when he comes home, we can meet up to finally see one another. Right now I get signs that there is a positive change in my love life. I don’t know if he will be coming home this Summer or Fall but I do know our time is now. I want to take action steps in messaging him but I really want him to muster up the courage to initiate conversation with me.

    I don’t want to push divine timing so I want to wait for him to tell me he is ready. I know I am ready but I don’t know where he stands with his feelings just yet. In the mean time I am working on my self-love and confidence.

    This love story is a remarkable one of ups and downs and anticipation. Most importantly it has allowed me to truly trust the Universe’s magic in creating my love story to be even more magical than I could have ever imagined. I have learned so much about patience and have dived so much deeper into my connection with my higher self. Stay tuned!!!!! <3 Thank you for holding sacred spaced for this love and stoking the flames of my heart by sharing it to you all.

    Blessings!, Kristin

  48. Laurie says:

    I love that you found that kind of love. I’ve been married to the love of my life for 30 years…..what a journey you are on of unfolding into who you truly are as individuals and as a couple!

    The pictures and video tell everything about the energy of that spectacular day!
    Thank You for sharing…❤️

    And remember, don’t sweat the small stuff…just sweat!
    With love, Laurie

  49. Veronica says:

    Your words are truly inspiring, Erin. There are so many little lessons within your lessons. Thank you for sharing. Love. V.n

  50. Stephanie says:

    I love, Love, LOVE reading love stories! Thank you for sharing, Erin.

  51. Steph says:

    I am a sucker for a great love story! Your journey with Lance and all the love and wisdom you share is beautiful.

    My guy and I will be celebrating 10 years together next weekend. I am a singer and we met when I auditioned for his band. I knew he was a great guy, but for months I didn’t think we were a fit romantically. Until one day I heard my heart say, ‘Go for it. Give him a chance.’ My mind wasn’t convinced, but I followed my heart and went for it.

    That was one of the greatest decisions I have ever made. This man continues to astound me with his tireless love and devotion. He is so precious to me, that it is my goal every day to give him the love, care, and appreciation he deserves. He is my perfect teacher and partner, and learning to love him is teaching me how to learn to love myself–because it turns out we are way more similar than I recognized at first. Being with him has helped to shape me into a woman I am proud of. And every step I take in my evolution, he steps right along with me. The freedom to be ourselves and still grow together is such a gift.

    Thanks, Erin, for giving us a glimpse into your love story! And for giving me an opportunity to reflect on mine and share it with you. I wish you all the best!

  52. Marcia Teperman says:

    Dear Erin, What a beautiful wedding vows you gave to each other on your big day.Congratulations for finding big love. We can feel the depth of your love for each other. Amazing and thanks for sharing.

  53. Cielo says:

    Erin,

    Thank you so much for sharing this!!!! I’m crying as I write this because I felt the absolutely genuine, complete love you have for each other. It has made me realize that I truly do want that kind of love in my own life and that it is possible to have. I wish you both nothing but continued joy, abundance, passion and ever growing love in your life together. Thank you for being a living demonstration of love!!

  54. Marj says:

    I married a teacher from my high school . . . ten years after I graduated and ended up back there teaching. He didn’t know who I when he arrived as a new teacher in my junior year. And I certainly never in a million years imagined I would marry him. But maturity and many good and bad relationships certainly shaped my expectations.
    On our very first date (um, we were actually each with someone else on a double date), I knew with certainty that he was my forever love. We’ve had 44 amazing, soul-stretching years of marriage. I know that he is my stabilizer and I am his de-stabilizer; we make each other better than we are alone. I wanted love AND family. Got both.

  55. Ahh 🙂 As if I didn´t have a great start of the day already you made it so much better be sharing this..

    I´ve never been deeply in love before, but you make me leave my desperation on the shelf, be happy with my life, create great stuff and be ready to open my heart to my love when he comes along. And you know what? The thought of it makes me soooo happy within, I can´t even imagine the feelings I will have one day walking down that aisle.

    Thank you for your kick-ass attitude, motivation (I listen to you everyday in my car just to pump myself up!) and all the good vibes you share!
    Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU 🙂

    I wish you ALL the best.

  56. Dawn Decker says:

    Dear Erin, (My younger sister’s name also) What an beautiful love song you shared with us. I, too just got married last year at age 57 to a wonderful, caring, handsome man of my life, Jim after 10 years together & 8 years living together. We are true best friends but our only disagreement was the subject of marriage. (I wanted to & he definitely did not, ever!) Once or twice a year it was would be a vacation ending subject.) I decided I loved him & our life together was perfect so “what was the big deal of a piece of paper?” that I would not broche the subject again! That energy shift within 6 months allowed him to change, coming to his own conclusion that he wanted to please me & show his love with the awesome gift of a super surprising, down on your knees proposal, diamond ring in hand that he had helped design on my birthday on our way to Crate Lake! I could not believe it & thought it a joke before both of us broke out I tears of happiness. Positive affirmation, “letting go of the old”, movement, meditation, connection with nature, belief & staying present has allowed the beauty of our love to grow now through marriage. We had a small family/friends getaway 5 day wedding on an island in Mexico last April, so much fun! Thank you for being part of this process with us. Much married bliss to you, Erin! Shanti, Dawn

  57. Dr Samantha says:

    Sweetest one. It is such an honor to have been/to be a part of your love story. Love you both endlessly. xoxo

  58. Anna says:

    This is my comment for you! Have a great life together 🙂 I wish all the best to you and all of us. Love is in the air…. 🙂

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMBDHsocfG8

  59. Gina says:

    Erin I love this post so much! I am such a sucker for love that if it comes up I never decide I need to wait because I am not ready. I have felt like that before when meeting a guy and thought if I don’t take my chance with him now I will miss out!!! After recently getting broken up with many would find this depressing but to me this is so hopeful! I like that you talk about how independent you where at first and that you weren’t ready because you where figuring your own things out and that’s what I need to do! And then maybe I’ll be in a better place to experience a wonderful love story!
    Feels like hope is on the horizon for me just from reading this!

  60. Sara Fontana says:

    Erin, thank you so much for sharing your love story. The more I read your writings and blogs the more grateful I am that “life” connected you and my daughter Evelyn. She loves teaching your Shrink Sessions in New York City…and I am so grateful I bought your DVD’s! My husband and I wrote a book on marriage we titled BULLSEYE MARRIAGE: INTENTIONALLY TARGETING A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. It sounds like you have a great foundation for a Bullseye Marriage!

  61. Julie says:

    Thank you for this blog on the lessons. I LOVED reading it. Some are good reminders and some things I learned. #2 to lean into soul connections that lead you to other soul connections. This totally makes sense and a good reminder/motivation to take the initiative to do that.
    And this part..”What I finally came to realize was that I did not want to settle in a relationship. I had been so scared for so long that I was “high maintenance” or that I was never going to be satisfied in ANY relationship that I started to believe that perhaps I should just be ok with “good enough”. But, I decided that NO, “good enough” wasn’t good enough. I wanted BIG, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL LOVE. And if I wasn’t going to have that, I was ok with the idea that I might be alone. I felt certain that being alone was going to be better then settling.” Thank you!

  62. M Helen says:

    Wow!! Thank you for sharing this!!
    So inspiring and totally in tune with what I value and believe.
    I’m currently in the process of really rebuilding a part of me stronger, and more at peace with life after harsh disappointments that I never expected I would go through.
    Well I’m doing great (I think!) and have a lot of faith that the big beautiful soul love and partnership I so deeply desire is there close to me just maybe waiting for me to be a bit more healed. There is this strange but powerful feeling in me, that I have never felt before, that says yes, it’s coming, and could be even sooner than I expect it.
    So this post… Seeing your gorgeous video, reading your beautiful story touched my heart so deeply.
    I almost feel like you coukd have posted it just for me, haha( but clearly know you are inspiring thousands of others!). Such a great timing.
    And that last paragraph just took my words away about the partnership I want. <3
    Oh, I'm all teary from watching, reading and thinking about it all now…
    So thank you so much for sharing!
    And many many blessings to you both, to your union and all the beauty such a love creates the world.

  63. Becca Borge says:

    Erin, what a beautiful story! I loved reading this and have to admit – after documenting many many weddings…you two really do stand out with an uber special and completely joyful love. We hope you continue to cherish and nourish that! The most amazing thing will be seeing that this great love you have now, won’t compare to the love you have 5, 10, 50 yrs from now!

  64. Lauren says:

    First of all I am happy for you! Second, I believe that it is important to love yourself and find out who you are so you can give the best version of yourself away to the one you love. That way too you aren’t putting all your hopes and dreams on someone else, but you are content being with yourself.

  65. April says:

    Wonderful love story. It inspires me to share mine. I felt the same way as you. I wanted real deal full heart love or nothing at all. I have a big personality and am a strong, independent woman. When I would meet a man I was interested in I would pursue, I would not wait around. I quickly realized that all those men I dated were not “man enough for me”. I honestly started to think I would probably be single for the rest of my life but alas I would rather be single then be with the wrong person. I wanted my SOULMATE!!!
    At the time I met Nate I was online dating but truly didn’t want that to be my love story. I just wanted to make an effort. My sister is a marathon runner and was running a half that morning. I grabbed a friend and headed to downtown Portland to meet my seester at the finish line. Just as my guy friend and I pulled up to the race I said to him,”man, there are always so many good looking people at these races, I just don’t have a clue where they hang out when they are not running.”
    I meet my seester once she finishes and grab a table while she goes to pick up her clothes from one of the tents. I am alone at this table in the middle of a huge crowd. A tall, handsome man walks by looking around, our eyes meet, I seriously could feel his energy! I felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t tell someone about his race so I asked him, “how was your race?” He jumped up and down excitedly and told me about how he ran his 1st 5k. It was love at first sight! I kidd you not. It turned out that he used to be over 400 pounds so to be as fit as he was in that moment was monumental. When I first felt his energy it reminded me of how I felt when I climbed Mt. Hood. I too was very overweight most of my life but got fit and summitted Mt. Hood. That common bond, bonded us from day one. I ran home that day and woke up my friend and told her I met the man I was going to marry!!! We were together from that day forth and got married 4 years later. Our 2 year anniversary is September 1st!! My key thing is our communication. We talk about everything and always have, no matter how silly or serious. We have each others backs 100% plus!!!! Our first year of marriage has been a ride. 1.5 months after our 1 yr anniversary I was diagnosed with breast cancer and we have only become closer and our bond stronger!
    I agree with Erin 100%. You are worth everything and deserve the best, don’t ever settle for less b/c what you seek is also seeking you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thanks so much for sharing Erin. I am so happy you have come into my life. It was meant to be.
    love and hugs, April from Portland, OR
    http://www.jvanbuhler.com/#/gallery/wedding-photography/img-42611/

  66. Aldys says:

    Erin you looked stunning! Thank you for sharing your love story and tips!
    I am loving my life right now and have not settled because I too want a big, amazing, beautiful love with my soul mate. Your story gives me hope and inspiration, and I know I will meet him soon. 🙂

  67. Tammy says:

    Dear Erin, Thank you so much for sharing your story, it was absolutely beautiful. My story started with lots of toads to the point that I was so full of anger towards men that I turned it in on myself and was in the process of destroying myself via alcohol and some other things I won’t mention. I was in the middle of another binge one night when the love of my life drove up in front of my moms house. He didn’t know it at the time, but the instant I saw him I knew and I was done with anyone else. Nothing would do me but to find out who this guy was, I’m sure he thought I was crazy, he wouldn’t tell me his name. I found out, though and found out where he lived. I know I sound like a stalker, but I knew he was my soulmate. I finally got him to talk to me after going to his moms house and introducing myself to her and subsequently having a long visit with her. Something I would never do as a normal rule. He ask me out on a date, my place of work called me in and when I called him to tell him I couldn’t make the date because of work, I could hear in his voice that he didn’t believe me, that was it, I went into work and quit and went to see him. After that we were inseparable, he went to college in another state 2 months after we met and I was inconsolable,I had to go see him and it didn’t matter how I got there. We met in Aug. 1988 and we married in Jan. 1990. Our marriage wasn’t anything as beautiful as yours, no real flowers, my dress came from a thrift store and things were falling off it as I was walking up to him, my ring cost $40.00 and came from a pawn shop. Our cake was beautiful, but that’s all there was, no bridal party with matching dresses. I had no help getting dressed or fixing my hair. No honeymoon, the whole thing cost around $300.00. But the important thing was that I had found the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with, the only person that’s ever loved me unconditionally, he is the best thing that’s ever happened to me on this earth, I know God sent him to me without any doubt. I was like some of the women who posted to say that I had made up my mind that I was never getting married if I couldn’t find the right person and I had become convinced that that person didn’t exist. I was resigned to spending my life by myself. I honestly don’t want to think what would have become of me if God hadn’t sent Robby into my life. Thanks for letting me share.
    I wish you all the happiness and love you deserve

  68. Nicole says:

    Erin, this is so beautiful and I definitely teared up! What a beautiful wedding, and a beautiful story, and wonderful lessons. I am so grateful that you shared this. I am single, I believe in love. I believe in it whole heartedly because I’ve experienced it, and I know I am deserving of my big, beautiful love! I agree- I don’t want to settle. Thank you for sharing your story!

  69. Corinne says:

    Erin…your love story is so moving and inspiring! I learned love lesson #4 this year and had to get really clear about my value and what I deserve and finally took the actions to end a year long relationship that was only giving me crumbs. I know deep in my heart that the BIG, BEAUTIFUL LOVE that I desire and deserve is on its way to me and your story came along at the perfect time to reassure me that I’m right where I need to be. Thank you for sharing such a personal and intimate part of your life with all of us! Many blessings to you and Lance!

  70. maddie says:

    Thank you for inviting us in…we truly felt like friends as we read your story and watched your video. I just lost my best friend and love. I can truly tell you a lifetime of love and adventure is so possible.
    All the best as you begin your life together.

  71. Mandy says:

    I met and marries the great love of my life! I found him much later in my life. We were in our late 40’s.

    Through such a long time in my life recovering from a sad lonely first marriage I decided to find my great love, not to settle and not to listen to those who said that kind of love was not real.

    It is real and so amazing.
    It is always first on my gratitude list.

    In an attempt to show a friend that love can not be found on-line I found my amazing man on Match.com. Lol silly me. (This friend got the first invitation to our wedding.) Our daughters were even in the same class at school.

    We have an amazing life now fulfilling each other’s dreams. Cheering each other on. (We have both started new businesses that compliment each other.)
    Thank you for your story. I truly think it is so important to put these stories out for others to read.
    Thank you,
    Mandy

  72. Swapnil Biswas says:

    Hi,, I am swapnil..
    probably this is how i can share my story…

    first of all erin.. congratulations and best wishes from me and my love.. always stay happy..

    so here’s how this started..

    she is one my friend’s sister.. her name is Sreerupa and her sister’s name is Shreelekha..
    i met her when i was on my tenth grade.. she – 8th.. we met on DURGA PUJA.. the famous occassion of Indians..
    she caught my attention .. she liked me and i liked her.. but none was able to express..
    next year we met again.. this time we failed again
    then came the month of september.. i started talking with her on fb.. soon got her number.. then continued our converstaions in wg=hatsapp etc
    i liked her,, and soon fell in love.. she has the charm.. she has the personalityand she is like,, i can’t express in words..

    it was 23rd september when i proposed her.. told her about my feelings
    it was a big yes.. but she also told me that she just liked me.. it wasn’t love for her

    it was her first relation while i went through heartbreak once.. she realised me well.. she made me feel good.. when i talked with her, i felt i was the king o the world..!!

    she took care of me everyday.. she appreciated my love,, but she didn’t love me.. according to her..
    i tried to make her realise about her feeling.. but no use..

    she always told me that she doesn’t know how to love… what is love.. probably she won’t be able to love someone..

    then the day came.. 18th november.. meanwhile many things happened.. negative-postive etc.. but we didn’t giveup..
    on 18th noveber she talked to my elder sister.. i didn’t know what she talked about.. but when sree and i met that night she gave me a letter..
    it was about her doubts.. she thought it was me trying to make her realise..
    i didn’t have any kind of prove that it wasn’t me.. it was my elder sister..
    things were going bad,,, she threw the letter as i didn’t read it.. i was focusing to remove the misunderstanding..
    she went away.. i also came back home..
    i messaged her right away.. she didn’t understand anything..
    then i decided to find that letter.. it was 1 a.m. my parents were sleeping,, so i took the advantage and went to find that letter

    God was surely there to help.. i found it .. came back home without anyone’s notice.. and read the letter 100 times probably..
    next morning when she went for the tution,, i sent her the pics of the letter,, that i’ve read what she wrote.. that every small things were really important to me

    what she replied just shocked me..

    ” i love you.. sorry i misunderstood you.. i love you”

    later she told me that couldn’t think that i could’ve picked it after she threw it away.. and if i didn’t text her she would’ve waited

    finally i got my love..

    I GOT MY LOVE WHEN I LEAST EXPECTED IT..
    OBSTACLES MADE US COME CLOSER
    I LOVE YOU SREERUPA.. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH..

    thank you for the oppertunity

  73. Soulmates says:

    Beautiful story and beautiful pictures! Waiting to meet your twin soul is definitely worth it 🙂

  74. Thanks for sharing this, Erin. I really enjoyed reading it and the photographs you used throughout the post looked fantastic! Thanks.

  75. Holly says:

    So beautiful and so glad it came back up. I really needed this reminder as things are changing in my life now regarding relationships. I remember your post about the swans and needless to say that has made its way onto my vision board. Having someone I can passionate about so many things in life is the goal, without a doubt!

  76. Neha says:

    it’s so nice to hear real love stories. I too believe that I would marry only for love. I love you Erin and admire you greatly.

  77. Donna Moon says:

    Ohhhhh Yummmm……may you both dive deeply into each others heart for the rest of this lifetime together

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