How to Forgive Yourself

The other day I got a phone call with some news I wasn’t so keen to hear. It threw me off a little and made me feel like some things I had been working on were off track.

Mostly, I was picking up judgement from someone, when deep down inside, I knew I was exactly on track with what I had been working on.

But, because I am human and sensitive and imperfect, I let myself be influenced by their thoughts, therefore second guessed myself.

After the call, I felt a bit of anger rise inside myself for being on the receiving end of judgement. (Who are you to judge me!?)

Then, I felt anxiety, because I began to question my choices.

Then, I felt sadness, because I felt as though I was doing everything beautifully and felt so in a groove. Was I wrong?

Then, I felt upset, because I didn’t want to be angry with this person, as they only meant to be helpful.

That’s a lot of emotion swirling at once, wouldn’t you agree?

Before I could let myself spiral out of control completely, I decided to stop everything and treat myself to 30 minutes of yoga.

I knew that if I slowed everything down a bit and connected to my breath and my body, I would find some stillness.

I set my intention around FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness of this other person, but more so, forgiving myself.

For what, you might be wondering. I didn’t do anything wrong.

Let me explain. As I ended in savasana, I invited Life to give me a mantra to keep with me the rest of the day.

Here’s what came to me. And I want you to read it closely.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BUYING INTO THE ILLUSION THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.

Sometimes outside energies throw us into a tizzy. Sometimes, it’s our very own energy that can do that. Judgement, anger, anxiety, and sadness can leave us feeling like something is terribly wrong and ‘off’ with ourselves, our life, or our choices.

But as I slipped into the stillness of the meditation, I realized there was nothing wrong at all. All was well. No one was hurt. No one had done anything bad. I was ok. It was just information.

And I could choose to do what I wanted with that information.

I could be attached to it or I could simply let it float by like a cloud passing on a beautiful day.

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BUYING INTO THE ILLUSION THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.

I could stay married to the idea that maybe I had made a bad choice and therefore am a bad person, or I could forgive myself for slipping into this kind of thinking.

(I hadn’t made a bad choice in this case, though that DOES happen to us from time to time. It sure happens to me! But even still, it does not mean we are bad people. This is very important.)

You see, staying committed to the thought that there is something wrong with us rarely moves us in a good direction.

If anything, it makes us want to hide. Or it makes us feel ashamed. Or it makes us do things to try to prove we are ok. And trying to prove something is not a valuable way to spend your energy.

The next time you are feeling caught in a loop that something is wrong with you or that you have made a terrible choice, I invite you to close your eyes and breathe.

Follow your breath for 10 counts. Then, go ahead and use this mantra:

I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BUYING INTO THE ILLUSION THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.

My hope is that within 2-3 minutes of this, you reconnect to the magnificent human that you are.

My dear friend Heather Jones is currently holding a free class where she teaches this exact method as it pertains to your body. If you have been struggling with emotional eating or you are ready to stop beating yourself up when it comes to your body, I highly recommend you check it out RIGHT HERE.

Then, I would love for you to share this post about forgiveness with a friend who could use a little forgiveness.

(Right click to save and share)

Forgive YourselfFeel free to leave me a comment to let me know how this resonated and share the image on your Instagram if it speaks to you.

Sending you love and forgiveness,
Erin

P.S. I am super excited to announce that a book is officially coming! I will be making an announcement soon!

P.P.S. I am also working on something new for you. Here is a hint: A bunch of short (5 minute!) and very doable workouts! Stay tuned as I will share more as it gets closer to revealing the new project.

P.P.S Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools we can keep in our tool chest. This mantra is one you should keep in your pocket.

 

 

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15 Responses to How to Forgive Yourself

  1. Marcia says:

    Fantastic!! Great words of wisdom. I felt them deep in my gut, my soul, in my heart. I felt a stillness after reading and re-reading, and re-reading again. I do forgive. Thanks!!

  2. Sabine says:

    Thank you… Just exactly what I needed this morning ❤️

  3. Deana says:

    Thanks for this, Erin. It came at the right time for me. I had to help my dog transition from this world on Monday, and in my sadness, I have been asking if I did enough? Did I wait too long? Was I selfish? Did I spend enough time with him? Is it bad that I feel relieved that he is no longer here and suffering? Is it bad that I moved all his things so I don’t have constant reminders in the house?
    I FORGIVE MYSELF FOR BUYING INTO THE ILLUSION THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME.
    I know I did my best, from love, and now it’s time to turn that love towards myself.

  4. Erin,
    Thank you so much for this article. It resonated load to me…and was something I needed to read.
    A few weeks ago I purchased your soul stroll and listened to it for the first time while I was at a workshop.
    I decided at that point to hire a business coach! (Today is the day:)) I refuse to believe that there is anything wrong with me for making this decision for myself and my staff.
    Keep the new stuff coming.
    Best Regards,
    Christine

  5. Becky Dempsey says:

    Thank you Erin for sharing this:) And thank you for all the beautiful Soul Stroll offerings I Love them!!!!

  6. Ayako says:

    Thank you very much, Erin, for this honest and insightful post. It instantly hit me when I first read the mantra and helped me to see what I was doing to myself lately. I was blaming outside factors (people and circumstances) for my sadness, anger, frustration, and all the other negative feelings and emotions. And, this blog really helped me to see that what I was really doing was beating myself up for blaming others and being caught in those negative emotions which I felt I couldn’t get out of. I forgot to be kind to myself. Knowing that makes me feel lighter already.
    Your honesty and the way you take us through your experiences and share what you learned resonate me often and I learn a lot from you. So thank you for being who you are and sharing your beautiful soul! xoxoxo

  7. Liz says:

    Oh my gosh, your experience so resonated with me. Thank you Erin for the wonderful mantra I will definitely be using it x

  8. Charlie says:

    I needed to hear this. I am sick of feeling sad, anxious or depressed because my marriage dissolved. I forgive myself for buying into the illusion that anything is wrong with me!

  9. Lucie says:

    I already do your 5 minute Shrink Session workouts almost every day now 🙂 You’ve helped me so much, thank you Erin, and can’t wait to see the new workouts.

  10. Michael says:

    Damn I need to start meditating again. I did let myself fall into this rut where I feel like I should’ve done something and didn’t. Then I couldn’t forgive myself for slipping up. It’s gonna take some time but this sure helped.

  11. Michelle says:

    Oh, this is so wonderful, I’m going to share it. Thanks!

    Vishen Lakhiani, who I’m sure you’ve heard of, teachers a great lesson. He says to observe when someone’s acting like a jerk, and say, “There I go again.” In this way, we reinforce that we are all one—and we could easily be the one acting the fool, making a clumsy U-turn, or judging. Try it!

    “There I go again.”

  12. Dara says:

    So this morning I woke and felt a little funky in a not good way. Like my spirit was a little off . So I decided to do morning pages, and write. IT WAS ALL ABOUT SOMETHING SO SIMILAR TO THIS POST. Those similar feelings towards myself . Finished writing by telling myself to really look att forgiveness and consider it so I could move on . Not 5 minutes later did I open my email to see this post!

  13. Elsa Melendez says:

    Thanks Erin! This arrived just in time after having a situation at work that left me feeling too emotional. After reading your email, I went outside with my tea and I just stared at the sky and a gorgeous tree we have in the back. I repeated this mantra as I drank my tea and I just let the tears flow. I was better after. Thanks again 🙂

  14. Laura C Albanese says:

    What a great way to start the morning; I love this. Thank you.

  15. Darlene says:

    ❤️❤️❤️