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The Mantra That Changed Everything 

How To Decide What You Want

There Is No Wagon To Fall From. Only Life!

The word COURAGEOUS has come up several times in the last few days.

A friend sent me an email this morning telling me she is choosing to be courageous and is leaving a relationship she is no longer happy in.

I got a note from my mentor who told me it was courageous of me to reach out to her when I did, telling her what was REALLY going on. (Funny, because I didn’t feel courageous at all.)

This is picture of my friend Shonda and I running a 5K last week. It was her first one. I remember being so scared before running my first race with thousands of other people. Brave, right?

I know for myself, if I am going through a hard time and feeling sad/angry/frustrated, the last adjective in the world I would use to describe myself is courageous.

I can quickly move into beating myself up for not being stronger/braver/happier. Why can’t I just let it go and get over it?

It’s easy to interpret your feelings about being stuck as a sign of weakness.

We can quickly conclude, “I am not courageous or strong, because if I was, I wouldn’t be feeling so sad and crappy.”

We think, “If I were really brave, I would be taking non-stop action and not letting anybody’s opinion stop me.”

But, my love, this is a false notion of bravery. So very false indeed.

How To Get More Courage

We all go through difficult times in life. Tara Brach, one of my favorite teachers, talks about the DOUBLE ARROW that we all experience during challenging times.  

The FIRST ARROW comes from is life itself in the form of a hard time, a break up, a disappointment, an injury or an illness. This is part of being alive.

However, we often are responsible for the SECOND arrow. This is the arrow I describe above.  The internal voice that says, “Why can’t I handle this? How did I attract this? Why can’t I get it right?” The second arrow is one of self-criticism.

So imagine this: You are walking around with two arrows in your side. One life gave you and one you gave yourself.

And yet, you still go out into the world each day and do your very best. You take even the smallest action, or a very big one. You run your business. You show up for the audition. You put yourself out there. You let yourself cry. You let yourself be real.

All this, with TWO ARROWS in your side!

This is BRAVERY.

Courage is not giving up in the face of your own pain. Not giving in despite your own doubt and fear. 

(We will talk about how to stop giving yourself the second arrow in another post, but for now, recognize how strong your are for all you do.)

Lately, I feel like the word FEARLESS is a lie. Who doesn’t feel afraid? Who isn’t scared about unknown parts of their future? To be fearless is a false notion of what is possible. To be BRAVE is something we ARE each and everyday.

In order to get more COURAGE, you must recognize the courage you already have.

LEARNING HOW TO RECOGNIZE WILL INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR…  COURAGE.

Fill in this sentence:

Every day, I am afraid of ___________ , and every day I show COURAGE by ________________.

Take a moment to think about this.

Now, I would love for you to tell me specifically about one thing you are afraid of each day and how do you show courage in the face of that fear, regardless.

Remember, in order to get more of what you want, you have to acknowledge how much of it you already have. I am dying to hear from you.

Share your thoughts, below.

Love,
Erin

 

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  1. Nadette says:

    Every day, I am afraid that I won’t get through this, and every day I show COURAGE by showing up and taking on at least one task.

  2. anikdekedi says:

    Every day, I am afraid of loss, and I show courage by carrying on.

  3. Joy says:

    Every day, I am afraid that I’m afraid that I won’t make the right decisions for my career, and every day I show courage by making smart choices and working towards my goal.

    Thank you for sending this email today Erin. Your words are always an inspiration. This email woke me up and inspired me to write today’s post on Joy In The City, my blog about finding peace and happiness in the hustle and bustle of NYC. I shouted you out! I have admired you from afar for almost 2 years via your emails/blog, but now I think I’m ready to take the big leap and take one of your classes! cheers and thank you!

    • Erin says:

      Thank you so much for your love, Joy. I am so glad you left a comment. I was looking for your blog, but couldn’t find it. I look forward to reading it and watching you blossom! xo

  4. Shonda says:

    I love this! Its so easy for me to skim over anything that I have accomplished without taking a moment to realize how incredibly courageous and brave I am! It’s so much easier to criticize and say that I could have done better etc, etc. But yes, i am courageous every single day.

    Everyday I am afraid of being judged but I show courage by showing up, putting myself out there and taking actions towards the things I want!

  5. Paige says:

    Every day, I am afraid of wasting my time on this planet in useless activity, and every day I show courage by continuing the commitment to being evermore in service to light and love.
    Thanks E!

  6. Michelle says:

    Everyday, I am afraid of saying the wrong thing, and everyday I show courage by talking to people and voicing my thoughts.:)

    Everyday, I am afraid of my diabetes not being in perfect control, and everyday I show courage by testing my blood sugar anyways. 🙂

  7. Kory says:

    Every day, I am afraid of having my heart broken and being devastated and every day I show courage by loving completely and passionately.

    Thank you for this, Erin!

  8. Every day is different… sometimes I am courageous, sometimes excited, more often than not I trust that everything will be ok. Everyday I breathe deeply, connect to my Inner Wisdom knowing that if I’m open to it miracles will occur in my life.

  9. Sarah says:

    Every day I’m afraid that I am not enough – for my beautiful self and the wonderful woman that shares my life. That somehow I’m falling short of who I am intended to be.
    And every day I silently affirm: I Am Love. I Am enough. I have enough. I surrender who I was for who You are.

  10. David Ryan says:

    I want to travel the world. But I’m afraid of traveling alone.

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