How To Improve Your Relationship: Pay Attention
First, I need to thank you and this community for the love, support and cheers during this special time with my baby girl, Kwynn. I am officially back “online” in a more regular manner, while of course continuing to get lots of regular daily snuggles with my girl.
Over the coming weeks, I have so much to share with you, from musings about life/motherhood, to introducing you to some of my favorite people who are going to rock your world with life-changing information.
I will also start sharing tidbits from my forthcoming book, Mantras In Motion: Manifesting What You Want Through Mindful Movement (the official title!) due out in January 2019!
But today, I want to talk about how to improve your relationship, to anything…
by paying attention.
Several weeks into my maternity leave, it occurred to me that I was spending the entire day with a human who speaks no words at all.
And yet, I seem to understand everything she expressed throughout the day.
Whether she is tired, hungry, gassy, happy or uncomfortable, I have come to know her every cue.
Of course, there are a limited number of things she is trying to tell me, but the fact that at the end of the day, no words have been spoken and I still feel like we have communicated a million things, amazes me.
I am enamored with my baby girl, which causes me to pay very close attention and observe her through the eyes of love.
Recently, I saw the Academy Award winning film, Lady Bird.
In one part of the film (don’t worry, not a spoiler!) the main character, a teenage girl, is talking to the school nun.
The nun says, “You write about our town with such vivid and specific detail. You must really love it here.”
And she responds, “I don’t know that I love it, I just pay attention.”
And the nun says, “Isn’t paying attention a great form of love?”
This line has stuck with me ever since.
Paying attention is a beautiful form of love.
You see, I pay attention to my little girl all day so I can best meet her needs. And of course, the more I learn her every look, sound, and wiggle, the more I love her.
And it just has me thinking, when someone pays attention to your needs and desires and responds accordingly, doesn’t that make you feel loved?
When you are paying attention intently to something, whether it is your work, your body, your relationship, your children, don’t you feel more love towards those things?
So my questions for you (and me) is what DO you pay attention to?
Is there something you need to pay more attention to?
And what does paying attention look like to you?
For example, with my husband it can look like listening intently to him describing his day.
Sometimes it means bringing him tea before he asks for it.
Sometimes it means sending him an article I have come across that relates to his business.
Sometimes it means sending him a silly sports meme that I know will make him laugh.
Paying attention doesn’t have to be expensive or require much time.
It simply requires us to sit back a little and observe with loving eyes and ears.
It means we don’t react immediately to every little thing.
But rather, we take in the world with curiosity and non judgement.
Perhaps you can bring this idea into your day with your career, your beautiful body or the people in your life.
Now, it’s your turn.
Leave a comment below and tell me what YOU pay close attention to that feels very much like love to you. I would love to hear about it.
I’ll be paying attention;)
P.S. I am getting more active again on Instagram. I love the interactions I have with folks in the daily stories. Feel free to join me HERE for some live action:)