How to Say No With Grace
I am writing to you today from Singapore! It’s 80 degrees here and there is a fresh breeze at my back. Holy amazing. I can’t wait to get out to explore!
But first, I wanted to share a lesson I learned on the POWER OF SAYING NO and why to make a “THIS IS WHAT I AM NOT DOING” list.
About two weeks ago, I decided it was time to sit down and get super clear with what goals myself and my crew were committing to business wise this year.
I know it’s common for people to get their plans all sorted out by the beginning of the New Year, but I’ve noticed it’s been rather hard to get creative and dreamy in the first few weeks of January.
I also find that with each business (or life) accomplishment, comes a new perspective. Therefore, some of the best plans come together once you have accomplished the last thing you did.
With a successful launch behind me, a big life event completed, and winter turning into spring in hopefully a few more weeks (I actually HEARD birds chirping out my window in NYC last week, a good sign!) the inspiration to get clear on the next 12 months was upon me.
The tricky thing about getting clarity, whether it is in your business, your career, your love life or anything else, is that there are SO many options.
How do you decide where to put your focus when you know you CAN and WANT to do so many things?
Do you leave your job to start your own business? Do you create something new in your current business or do you refine the goals and achievements you already have?
Do we buy ourselves those expensive new boots for spring or do we take a flight to Miami for a girl’s weekend because we are choosing to value experience over material?
As I business owner, I get emails from readers like you telling me things you would love to see me create.
Anything from more Soul Strolls, to more workouts, to live retreats to teacher trainings. These are only a few ideas you have sent my way!
And I LOVE these emails because each time I get a new idea from you, I think, “Oooh, yes! I want to do that! How fun! Brilliant!”
I’m guessing that you also LOVE new ideas. They are like a breath of fresh air that comes sailing through on summer day. Oh the possibilities, right?! So many goals!
However, I have learned the hard way that I cannot do EVERYTHING, despite my believing/wanting/wishing I could.
Do you feel me?
And so all these NEW ideas that come our way stir around in our little heads without ever really landing. It’s HARD to say no!
So back to my planning…
As I sat with my friend Jenn Racciopi, (who is an incredible coach and business strategist), we decided specifically what projects made the most sense and which were most in alignment with my vision, my joy and my growth. (It must be fun!)
After we go SUPER clear on this (I am talking after SEVERAL hours), I stopped and I said, “Jenn, hold on. But, what about…” and I rattled off about a million things that I was still thinking about!! Things I just new would distract me from the plan we just made!
So we made a “THIS IS WHAT I AM NOT DOING” list.
I wrote down everything that was floating in my mind that I have either thought about doing, considered doing, been asked to do, been invited to do or even still dreamed of doing.
Let me tell you something, friend.
The ‘THIS IS WHAT I AM NOT DOING” list was even more powerful than the “This is what I plan to do” goal list.
When you get distracted by something other than what you have committed to, you are taking energy, attention and creativity away from the very thing you are doing.
The next thing I did was get super clear on WHY I was saying and going to say NO to these things.
Whether it was because it wasn’t financially viable at this time or because it simply sounded like a drag to do, clarifying the reason solidified my decision and more importantly solidified my commitment to my YES list.
You see, we can say we want to do something. And we can even get really clear with WHY we want to do it. This is all UBER important.
But it’s easy to forget about the fact that Life will keep rolling along and in its ever-expansive nature, new things, new ideas, and new opportunities will come along.
Some of them may be worth investigating. But many of them will simply be distractions from what you REALLY want. They will pull your attention the way a puppy gets excited about a new smell in it’s path.
If you can get clear on what you are SAYING NO to and WHY you are saying NO, it will help you stay more firmly planted on your path.
A friend recently shared with me that Warren Buffet makes a list of his top 10 goals. Then he chooses the top 5. He says that if you are spending time on any of the remaining 5, it is taking you away from your top 5.
If you could use some help gaining clarity on what goals you DO want to set and also what you DON’T want, I recommend my course, Check out Magical Manifesters HERE.
It is now self-paced/self-study, so you can go through it in the timing that feels good for you. (It also is $100 cheaper than it was before!)
The cart is still open and you can begin soon as you register.
Now, your action for the day. Below, tell me 2 things you are saying no to over the next week and WHY you are saying no to them.
It can be a NO to activities or even ways of thinking. But I want you to share it and then commit to it. Don’t just make it words. Turn it into action by committing more whole-heartedly to your yes’s.
Ok, I’m off to go explore before heading to Thailand tomorrow!
Big love to you!
P.S. Several of you have asked when I will be offering MM again, the honest to goodness truth is that I don’t know. I am not using that as a marketing ploy. We have changed it up this time so it is completely self study. There are still part of my business that stay fluid. This is one of them. For now, I am going to leave the cart open for the next few weeks. If you want to jump in, you can can Learn more HERE.