Why You Need to Let Yourself WANT
Where in your life are you not letting yourself WANT the thing that you really want? Where might you be skimping on yourself and your desires?
The other day I walked into a Starbucks to get a treat. Yes, now and again, (ok, often) I like sweet treats.
In particular, I was craving a cinnamon scone. There is just something about those damn Starbucks scones. They are sweet, but not too sugary. Soft, but not chewy. Baked, yet not dehydratingly dry. (Can you tell I know my scone?)
Anyway, I noticed the scone was 480 calories.
It has the most calories compared to everything else in that case.
Butter Croissant: 380
Banana Chocolate Swirl: 330
Blueberry Oat Bar: 370
And I had a moment where I thought; “I can’t believe I always get the thing with the most calories! Mmmm, maybe I should just go with the Oat Bar. It does have fewer calories. It’s probably healthier. Do I really NEED the scone?”
But because years ago I used to have this kind of back and forth conversation with myself around food, I have gotten pretty good and shutting this rigmarole down and just ordering what I truly want.
I don’t believe in counting calories.
I believe in listening to your body, it’s cravings, eating when you are hungry, eating slowly, stopping when you are full.
More importantly, I believe in eating for pleasure, enjoying your food and never, EVER allowing yourself to feel guilt or shame for wanting what you want or having what you had.
Now, I am not really telling you this story to talk about scones, or calories or what you should and should not be eating.
Why You Need to Let Yourself WANT
But, here’s my question for you.
Where in your life do you cut corners, skimp, choose the ‘lesser’ thing, the cheaper thing or worse, where do you not let yourself REALLY have what it is that you want?
Again, this is not just about food. I am talking about your business, your love life, your career or any other part of your life where you skimp out.
Where in your life do you not even ALLOW yourself to DESIRE the very thing that keeps coming up in you mind?
Are there times you won’t even admit to what you want just because it doesn’t make rational sense?
Like when you want something for no OTHER reason than because it would feel good, be fun or even fulfill a part of yourself that needs satisfying.
I think so often we are afraid to tell the truth of what we desire and what we need in the moment.
We are afraid to voice it and we are certainly afraid to go after it.
We worry that people will think we are indulgent, needy, slutty or ostentatious.
We think that our desires makes us weak.
We fear that people will see the real us. The part of us that is ambitious, hungry, or even ravenous for life.
And because we often have the belief that the qualities I just mentioned are ‘bad’, VERY BAD, we won’t even tolerate theses feelings within ourselves, out of fear it might actually be true.
How dare you want to make a lot money? Shame.
How dare you want to be the star of the show? Starved for attention.
How dare you want to just. get. laid? Ooooh, you little slut.
How dare you want the scone? Baaad. So, so bad.
And so we settle for the Oat Bar.
For the lesser.
For what we don’t REALLY want.
But here is what happens.
We end up over indulging or gorging ourselves on the oat bar or the ‘lesser’ desired things, because we are hoping that maybe, just maybe it will fill the need.
We get pissed at our partners for not doing what we want them to do, when really, we are not honoring our OWN desires in other parts of our lives.
We blame the industry we are in for not giving US enough money, work or acknowledgment, when really, we are depriving ourselves of a vacation or possibly self-expression.
If we just could have been honest about wanting the scone and allowing ourselves to eat it or at least go after it, we might actually be satisfied.
In a few days, I am handing out Magic Wands for all those who will be joining in the next round of Magical Manifesters.
I tell you this, because the entire first module of the course is about BEING HONEST with your desires. Letting them see the light of day. Admitting the truth about who you are and want you want.
I am absolutely certain the first step in living a FULL, EXCITING, RICH life, is simply honoring and admitting what it is that you really want, deep down, before you even take any action.
This is what the first part of Magical Manifesters is all about. Desire. Then we make a plan, but more on that next week.
I hope you will consider joining me. Be sure to check your inbox in a few days with the official announcement and links to our new digs.
In the meantime, if this strikes a chord within you…
In the comments section, I invite you to write this phrase out 3 times.
Tell me 3 things you REALLY, like REALLY want. Whatever comes to your mind first. They can be ridiculous things and not make any sense at all.
And the best part is that you don’t have to actually DO anything about it.
You can just simply acknowledge your own desires for today and see how that feels. Start there. See what happens.
I hope you have a deliciously, dirty, exciting, satisfying weekend.
Love and scones,