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The Mantra That Changed Everything 

How To Decide What You Want

There Is No Wagon To Fall From. Only Life!

Now that baby girl is here, there are a few stories I feel ready to share.

I promise that you won’t need to be trying to get pregnant, pregnant or have children to appreciate them, as each brought lessons that I are applicable to wherever you are, right now.

First, my question for you.

How much trust and faith do you have in the other people in your life?

We hear about having trust and faith in oneself. But what about having trust and faith in others, in the people and situations in your life?

A story…

Getting pregnant wasn’t easy. (I’ll share more on that soon, promise.)

But once I got pregnant, like many who don’t have an easy time conceiving, I carried the fear that something might go wrong with the pregnancy.

Everything was going smoothly until…

Around 15 weeks, I started to bleed.

Not a little spotting, but a big gush.

My doctor told me to head to the emergency room right away so they could check the baby.

Of course, the next few hours were excruciatingly nerve-racking as we waited to be seen so we could see her little heartbeat on the monitor.

Sure enough, there it was, beat, beat, beating away.

They discovered I had developed a blood clot, or sub chronic hematoma near my cervix. However, everything with the baby was totally fine.

With this, I was put on pelvic rest. No exercise. No sex. No nothin’ to disturb that area.

The doctors said it could continue to bleed or not, but that usually it resolves itself over time and everything hopefully would be fine.

My anxiety would not let me fully believe that everything would be fine.

I was still spotting a little daily, even as I flew across country to start filming my TV show, Altar’d.

It was here that my worry started to kick into high gear.

Not to get graphic with you, but can you imagine if every time you went to the bathroom, you were waiting for the worst case scenario to happen?

It was like I was waiting for the shoe to drop.

The constant worry, stress, looking and waiting was beginning to wear on me.

I wasn’t sleeping well. I didn’t feel like I could be present in my job. And I was distant from the people close to me as I tried to protect myself and my babe.

It had been several weeks since I had gone to the emergency room and yet again, one night, I woke in a panic.

Only this time it was different.

Somehow, some way, I started having a little conversation with myself.

I started to say things like, “Erin, you are really making yourself miserable. How can we shift this?”

And then, the conversation turned toward my little girl, who was still just a tiny thing growing inside.

I said, “Listen little lady. I love you already. Beyond what you can imagine. I will do anything and everything to help make your life wonderful.

AND… I TRUST YOU.

I trust that you know what is intrinsically best for you. I trust your soul. I trust your choices. I have confidence in you and your desires. If you are ready to come and join us, we can’t wait to have you. But mommy is going to stop worrying so much. I have full confidence in you and your path right now.”

Then, the next morning, I wrote this gratitude list and shared it with my online gratitude group. I wanted people to hold these intentions and gratitudes with me:

I am Grateful
That my lil baby is thriving in there.
That she loves being cozy in my uterus and feels totally safe and taken care of.
That all her systems are growing beautifully. Her brain, her heart, her lungs, her kidneys, her bladder, her stomach, her lady bits. All of it is truly sublime. Life is helping to craft a perfect little miracle in there.
That she is not ready to make an appearance in the outside world yet, but subconsciously she is preparing herself for when she does get here so that she can sleep wonderfully, poop easily and eat all that nourishes her.
That she is mighty, wise, and full of joy as she rolls around in there, playing and having fun.
That she knows fun and play is all she has to worry about and do.
That she feels connected to Life and its nourishing love and spirit.
That her body knows how to heal whatever needs healing and grow whatever needs growing.
That she knows she has a mommy and daddy and grandpas and grandmas and aunts and uncles and cousins and friends that love her and can’t wait to play with her.
That while she grows bigger and stronger in there, she grows in confidence and security knowing that all is well.
That she is going to have the best daddy in the whole world.
That he can’t wait to meet her and see what kind of faces and noises she makes.
That even though, life will have challenges, I am grateful that deep down, she knows she can handle them and will be supported through each one. Just like her mama knows that too.

That afternoon, the spotting had stopped completely. Not a single nothin’.

And it never resumed. The next time I went to the doctor, they said the clot had appeared to resolve itself, as they thought it would.

Now, this is important.

I am NOT in anyway suggesting that my conversation OR my list was THE reason the spotting stopped or that the clot resolved itself when it did.

Because that would mean that I have more control over life than I believe I do.

But, I believe I have some control over my feelings and how I deal with stress.

I believe we have the ability to put faith and trust in people and situations even when it’s really, really hard to do.

I believe we can soothe ourselves into a new frame of mind so that we don’t walk around being angry at people.

Or fearful.

Or mistrusting.

Or blameful.

We can have conversations with people even when they are not present.

We can say, I trust you.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

Forgive me.

It’s ok.

Even when they may not be on the direct receiving end.

It is a way to give people grace, when in reality, it is bringing grace to your own soul, one Sweet word at a time.

Of course, you know the ending to the story, Mighty Kwynn made her way to us months later.

And even now that she is here, like any mom, I will sometimes wake in the middle of the night, wondering if she is breathing. I try to still practice this.

“I trust you.

I have confidence in you.

You’ve got this.

You are strong.

You are mighty.

I love you.”

Is there someone in your life you need to have more trust and faith in? Do you need to have a loving conversation with them instead of an angry one?

Perhaps try to practice it using some of the things I shared above. And if this post is something someone you know could use, pass it on.

Then, leave a comment below. Let me know how this lands? Tell me how you instill confidence in others. I can’t wait to hear from you.

With love,
Erin

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  1. cherie says:

    As so often happens, this was exactly what I needed to hear today. I struggle with this mightily [and it doesn’t get easier as your kids grow up LOL] not only about others but about myself. Thank you for sharing Erin!

  2. Karen says:

    Hi Erin,

    I love your story of gratitude overcoming worry. I will share this with my mom. She tends to worry about things she cannot control. I think your mantra will help her let go of her anxiety.

    Of course, I have areas in my life for which this will help. I am an ovarian cancer survivor and the thoughts of the cancer returning are forever at the edge of my mind.

    Thank you for sharing!
    Karen

  3. Heather says:

    That is so beautiful and inspiring Erin – I am going to write a version of that to myself – because sometimes it’s hardest of all to trust myself – but your daily soul strolls are being hugely helpful in that regard too – blessing on you and Kayne and all your loved ones 💛

  4. Michelle says:

    Wow! Thanks for this revealing and uplifting share. These are words anyone can integrate for gratitude and calm. When I had placenta previa,
    I asked my midwife what I could do about it, and she said visualizations. So, daily, I visualized everything that lifts—balloons, elevators, escalators, bubbles…. and the placenta moved and we had a fast and easy birth, after all. I was amazed at the power of visualization. Of course biology plays a part, but there is much evidence our state of mind controls our biology. You’re so wise!

    • Joseila Gerotto says:

      Thank you for sharing. We are all one. Same feelings, same worried, same joys and same solutions! Visualizations…I do this a lot, even with past events and it sure works. I am very grateful for being here. Just practicing to trust more other people. I believe Love is divine, however trust is human.this is relation to human interactions.I may be wrong but.. I trust that the best happens all the time even when I do not understand the reasons.

    • Maggie says:

      Dear Erin and readers
      I’m new here and I’m so glad I found you. It is an amazing thing that for all the negatives of our addiction and reliance on being connected online the other side of that is the goodness and positivity that can pop into our mornings. I am in Dublin Ireland and you are somewhere far away but we are touching each other and helping each other. I’m working very hard to deal with my own fear of being depressed and down. I want to be able to trust myself and the healing grace of God or the universe to bring me back to peace and contentment. I love that word. Contentment. contented. It’s powerful. God bless you and your husband and little girl and all who read this.
      Maggie

      • Peneleapaí Aloha says:

        Ah Maggie,
        The very same blessings onto thee,
        The Spring is coming, soon Naomh Bríd will walk the land again and Ireland will be greening up for the onward 2018
        All the best from the west

        Peneleapaí x

  5. Lindy says:

    I loved your message today and it was applicable to all my relationships. I had found myself struggle and juggling my friend who is going through a miserable divorce. And after reading this I thought “I trust that she will find her own happiness and new path, it is not for me to solve or judge but to support and love her”. So I thank you for the reminder to trust in others.
    Th

  6. Rachel says:

    Your email came at just the right time for me. I have been telling myself to trust, this morning as the bump I needed. Thank you to you and the universe.

  7. judy gunn says:

    Hi Erin
    What a beautiful thing to do for you and your unborn child. I truly believe that we created out life and we attract the lessons we need to learn. I have many times had challenges and if you have faith and trust in your own intuition then you are able to create the right place for the right things to happen. I have 3 grown children and I had several times issues with their health and I only acted on their behalf when I asked myself what was the right thing. Not what someone was telling me. Trust the mother in you and your baby willbe healthy and happy. You know, just like you woke and had that conversation, you know what is best for you and bub….luv and hugs

  8. Robin Waters says:

    This was so so beautiful Erin. It spoke directly to my soul. I had such a hard time growing up and navigating both my environment and often overwhelming emotions. As I came into adulthood, I worked hard to keep positive, learn all I can, and to this day, stay proactive and vigilant to try to keep my relationships and environment “safe”. Yet, life is never safe if we don’t truly perceive it that way. I think you are so right that a deeper sense of trust is required. As difficult as growing up has been, I think my journey in parenthood has been the most challenging, as it constantly pushes my buttons and boundaries for more growth. Letting go of any sense of control, while desperately holding on to that feeling of keeping myself and my children protected, it is certainly a balancing act, and for me, a daily practice of much needed awareness and compassion. I am still working on instilling confidence in my children and in myself. It takes time and courage and persistence to reprogram those deep seated beliefs. How lovely that you are providing Kwynn such a powerful foundation. It is a joy for me to see your faith in your daughter and all that is. You have been one of my heroes for quite some time, but it is a special privilege to get a glimpse of how you are growing in the journey of motherhood. It is all so beautiful, and keeps inspiring me.
    Thank you for sharing your process, and your humanness, and continuing to touch us all with your authentic and loving perspective. Big hugs xoxo

  9. Roz says:

    This is such a beautiful post Erin, and exactly what I needed to read this morning! I definitely need to practice having trust in the people in my life who love and support me. Thank you! Kwynn is too cute!!

  10. Carol says:

    Dear Erin, I received your mail today with your story about being afraid for the well being of your lil’angel before she was born, and the depth of the message went absolutely straight to my heart… and a little further beyond I would say! It kinda rocked my soul!
    It’s true that Gratitude is a powerful prayer, and one we can forget when the going gets a little tough… And also that fact that we should focus and concentrate on what we WANT, and not the opposite… which can easily happen when fear takes over the pilote’s seat…
    I thank you for sharing and reminding us of that. It came as a timely and welcomed reminder for me at this precise moment in my life. Sending much love and hugs to you, yours and to all…

  11. Merle says:

    Beautiful story Erin and I can relate with you.
    My first daughter (now 24) at about the same time I was bleeding too, when I called my gynecologist he told me to come in immediately. My husband was away on a retreat. When I reached the doctor told he needs to do an ultrasound as the baby maybe aborting herself. I prayed and I prayed and myself I was having a healthy beautiful baby and believed it with every cell in my body. When he did the ultrasound he said the the baby was alive and growing beautifully in my womb. He noticed that the fibroids were also growing and was the cause of my spotting. The awesome Creator made us in His magnificent image.

  12. Melanie Edgal says:

    Erin,
    Putting my trust in someone, that is difficult. I do speak into situations in which I feel scared or that has had power over me.
    But I just thought I would comment because when you spoke to the child in your womb, chills ran over my body.
    I believe you set aside your fear, spoke to your situation and believed in your miracle.

  13. Maria P Brennan says:

    Thank you, Erin, for this courageous post! My daughter lost a baby at 20 weeks, so I know the feelings of fear that come along with a problem during pregnancy! Today, she has a beautiful girl that would not be here if what happened hadn’t happened. You are so right to say that we must surrender and trust that all is as it should be. I’m sorry you had to go through such a frightening experience, but I am glad that you learned something so important. We don’t have control over everything, but we can support and comfort ourselves and those we love! God bless your beautiful girl!

  14. Becky says:

    The bond between a mother and her baby is God’s gift. She is so blessed to have you and you are blessed to have her. God gives us our children when THEY are ready, not us. We need to remember that it is divine and powerful. Whether a mother biologically or adoption or aunt/Uncle/grandparent, children are blessings and it does take a love village. God bless you and your family!

  15. Courtney says:

    Thank you Erin for being open. Those words are empowering and very much needed. Your strength and resolve are beautiful. Thank you for sharing the faith and courage of your journey.

  16. Twigwoman says:

    Erin GOOD ON YOU!!!! such positive self talk as you have displayed and shared is the cornerstone to battling panic attacks!
    SUPER DUPER Congratulations on Mighty Kwynn’s Arrival!!! Much love to you and your family! xox

  17. Andrea says:

    Erin, I SO NEEDED this. Thank you for being vulnerable with us and sharing your story. You are a POWERHOUSE and can’t wait to see how you continue to light up the world with your soul.

    Andrea

  18. Pamela Miles says:

    Birth (pregnancy, motherhood) is a metaphor for life. If you let it, your life can teach you so much! You are a wonderful student of life Erin. I’ve seen this in the amazing work you do with affirmations and movement, and now motherhood. You get it. The motherhood lessons are just beginning… there is so much juice around trust, letting go, nurturing and self love. Enjoy the ride!

  19. Heather says:

    That was beautiful and powerful. Thanks for sharing.

  20. Christine says:

    Wow, this is a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. I am currently pregnant with my second child, also a baby girl, and though it’s been going pretty well I still have thoughts similar to you…wondering and worrying that everything is okay and wondering and worrying if everything will turn out okay. It is an exciting time of course, but also terrifying at the same time. Your words truly resonated with me and helped me to put things into a new perspective. I do trust my little girl and believe that everything will be as it should be…I love her all the same and feel comforted knowing that she will be okay, no matter what. I’m going to remind myself of this everyday, thank you! <3

  21. Emily says:

    This is really synchronized with a few other things I’ve read lately. I just read someone’s account of trying to forgive someone’s soul rather than focusing on the person. Then I read someone talking about writing spirit letters. Which I thought was an amazing idea in so many situations! A way of putting your thoughts and feelings into the universe and into the hands of God, my angels, my spirit tribe! Just like journaling to settle the mind and ask for what I need or what I pray for! Beautiful story!

  22. Linda Rosenthal says:

    Erin, just love it all! Thanks for sharing and I will definitely pass it along.

  23. Cori Seraydarian says:

    So Beautiful! I am curious if you knew when you wrote those affirmations what her name would be since you used the word MIGHTY. That jumped out at me! Trusting the process is something I have been learning with Real Estate over the 5 years now that I have been doing it. It is not my process but the process of those people buying and selling or looking for the rental etc… I am along for the ride to help navigate and offer my service and expertise to THEIR process. Baby making and child rearing is similar. I love what you added about the power of the conversations we have with ourselves. It gets difficult to surrender when the babies become larger humans because the world they are then navigating looks more like yours and less like the womb but its still something I think is a good way to go. This is THEIR life. A reminder to have faith that you are surrounded by moms and dads and grandmas and grandpas and aunts and uncles that love and support you when times get tough is a tremendous gift that is real and true and worth trusting in. Thank you for sharing your insights and wisdom and most intimate of stories.

  24. Beri says:

    So beautifully said! Trusting these little guys have their own path and we are just blessed beyond that we get to witness the unfolding of their journey. We get to clear the weeds from their path and tell them stories along the way. They have a wide open road and world to discover. So happy for you guys-so much love there!!! Thank you for being there for me at the very moment I needed to just trust…Good things are coming my way always! Keep spreading your beautiful sunshine and powerful affirmations-I look forward to being inspired by your little lady. Can’t wait to hear more!

  25. Sallie ann says:

    This is truly one of the most beautiful and significant thing I’ve read in a long time. And I have no children, and am about to turn 50… so probably not going to happen. But I have been worrying about my body lately and stressing over every pop and crack. Thank you for remindiing me of the power of gratitude and grace.

  26. Erin, thank you. This is profound. Simple and extraordinarily profound. Reading it, I felt my heart break open. I am so grateful for you and what you are sharing with the world through your words, your gifts, your inspiration, your movement, your spirit. Thank you for helping me move forward in so many ways – through injury, doubt, questioning, uncertainty, fear of risk & change & redefining – moving forward into my new life (at 53!). Thank you and so many blessings and peace and love and joy to you and your family.

  27. Nancy says:

    Erin!
    This was also very important for you to go through and me to read today. My beautiful daughter, whom I have cherished for her whole lifetime, is bedridden and cannot speak from the effects of multiple sclerosis. I am trying to say I trust this universe and I trust her choices and her contract for why she came here, but it is certainly an uphill climb. Maybe today I can try to trust a little more.

    • Erin, So beautiful! Thank you for sharing this intimate experience.

      My kids are 13 and 15 now and I realize that this practice is just what I need. I’m starting to worry about them in a whole new wa y but they are extremely cool people and I do trust them.

      I’m glad to have read this so that I can put it into practice as they grow, learn hard lessons and fly out on their own.

      Big love to you, mama.

      Kristen

  28. Hilary says:

    Oh Erin. What an amazing post, and it landed just at the right time. I had the same incident when pregnant with my son at about 16 weeks- heavy bleeding. I was petrified, praying, repeating “stay with me” like a mantra. And similar to your experience, all resolved itself. And today, he’s a middle schooler– which is not without its own challenges! But your words have made me think a bit more about how I treat him: I need to trust in him and his abilities much more than I do. Hover less, encourage more. Thank you for the good advice, as always.

  29. Atha says:

    Your story and life is lovely. I have had 7 miscarriages. I have had similar conversations with my children, no successful births. I am so happy it worked out for you, but sometimes no matter how much faith you have…things don’t work out. It isn’t a lack of faith on my part or anything I did wrong. It just isn’t a part of my story…
    I just don’t want anyone beating themselves up when things don’t work out, blaming themselves for a lack of faith or hope when they know they did everything they could.

    • erin says:

      I so hear you and am sorry for your losses. Hopefully people don’t interpret the story to mean that if you have faith, things work out for you. I actually am hoping that it gets interpreted that if you have faith in others, you can be released from feeling like you have to control everything and that the story of life will unfold as it shall. As the saying goes, “We cannot control the wind, only the direction of our sails.” So much love to you. Xo

    • Sheela Wolford says:

      Atha, my mother had three miscarriages right in a row. Back in the 50s they made her carry one fetus that didn’t develop the entire 9 months. She said being in the hospital bed and hearing the other mothers with their babies was hard. The fourth pregnancy produced my brother and then me, and following my younger brother and sister. My older daughter struggles with her periods, etc. I feel the three miscarriages were the three of us and my little sister the cherry on top. What is meant for you cannot pass you by…if not a birth, perhaps a precious baby of adoption, because if you are meant to be a mother, one, two, three times over or more, it will happen. I’m rooting for you. xoxoxooxox P.S. I give Reiki and did so to a woman who didn’t produce eggs and when I met her had lost her third implant and was crushed, heartbroken and blinded by sadness. Her first reiki session revived her and as a runner that’s what she did right after: went for a run. I continued to give her Reiki for months and then she had another egg and sperm implantation and I gave her Reiki. During the first session, her baby came to her shoulder and I heard, “Tell Mommy I will be back. All is well.” I moved from NYC to Texas in September when my client was in her fourth month. She went into labor in her late fifth and while it was a nail biter her daughter, Scarlett Jane is now three years old and a “pistol” as I also heard. If you want to be a mama, it will happen. Big, big love to you. xoxoxo

  30. Sheela Wolford says:

    Absolutely. Erin, it is astounding and excruciating to read your blog posts. You are in such a strong, stable place, a place I wish I’d been in when I had my dream girls. Thankfully, both are remarkable as am I. Yet I love reading your realizations and what joy you and your girl are set to have! Trust uber alles. And I do know for a fact your gratitude list and realignment DID ALLOW THE BLEEDING TO STOP. Rock on, sister.

  31. Nicole says:

    Thank you for your wisdom and beautiful words. I am a 43 year old mom of 3 girls (ages. 21,16 and 11). I can relate to the fear you held. I had a very hard pregnancy with my last daughter and I will be honest I carried the fear through the first 6 months of the pregnancy and had quite a few complications (constant monitoring, a cyst that grew to the size of a tennis ball, placenta previa…) Around the 6.5 mark I fell in love with the pregnancy again and loved every minute of it. The birth was beautiful and romantic (only my husband and I (prior I had family around). Then she was here, our little blessing. Little did I know I wasn’t out of the woods, I had hemorrhaged after her birth, sent home a few days later, to be rushed in 27 days later from hemorrhaging again, ended in an emergency hysterectomy due to placenta acreta. I was in fear and I wasn’t trusting life, the universe, God, my little baby that was growing inside of me, I wasn’t trusting me! I am going to use your words and affirmations and have those conversations I have been afraid to have (with or without them here) and let the healing begin and let the trusting guide me through. Thank you again for your honesty and wisdom. Enjoy this time with your beautiful daughter and embrace the beauty of breastfeeding (as I know you are) it was one of the best times of my life (even with the challenges that come with it and I do have 8 years of breastfeeding under my belt). Peace and Blessings to you and your family!

  32. JK says:

    Wow! Thank you. I have been making myself so stressed out and miserable every day because of my job. I feel stuck and generally unhappy. Of course, this post reminds me that I have some control over the way I am feeling and that there are things I can do to help relieve my stress. I am going to reread this over and over and compose a list of the things I am grateful for so that I can focus on the positive and give some of these feelings up to the universe! Thank you again, Erin.

  33. Joanne says:

    This is beautiful…..
    I can relate because early on I was spotting too with my first daughter. At the time, I prayed.
    Timely is your point about what we say to ourselves in our minds and how it affects our bodies.
    I have high blood pressure. Today I have to get it checked. It’s always a test I am afraid to fail because I don’t want to go on more meds.
    Today, I did yoga and meditated gratitude to my body. I trust my body to be healthy.
    I will be meditating and self-talking all the way to that appointment. My blood pressure will be fine.

  34. Jaclyn says:

    Love this, Erin.

  35. Stephanie Decker says:

    Erin – It is wonderful that all is well with you and your beautiful baby girl. It is also wonderful that you were able to reset your feelings and attitude in an incredibly stressful time. I am so grateful you are sharing the gift of fitness, attitude, and joy with all of us – it is so helpful. As I read your narrative, I also wondered if you might bring in the grace of God and the strength He provides to each of us and enables us to trust fully.

  36. Janet says:

    Your posts often land softly and meaningfully with me. Thank you. I appreciate that you started this one by saying that it could resonate even if you aren’t a parent. You are correct. I feel the need to implement this practice of gratitude in regards to a significant relationship I’d like to heal. I have been encouraged before to express gratitude for things I want to see happen in an effort to make space for them to come to fruition. But I hadn’t thought of trust as stemming from gratitude before. That was a new lesson. A fresh insight. It feels tangible, doable, kind. I’m going to try. Thank you for the encouragement. Keep loving that little baby with all your might. You’ve got this.

  37. Sandra Eggerstedt says:

    Just what I needed to read today Erin…thank you ox

  38. Yvonne says:

    Thank you Erin, for generously sharing your challenging but enlightening experience with all of us. It points to human courage, strength and grace at its very best. Kwynn will have an extraordinary life, with such amazing and supportive parents.

  39. Shelley says:

    Hi Erin,

    Thank you for bravely telling your beautiful story. It gave me goosebumps of delight!
    Hooray for gratitude!

  40. Anne says:

    Beautiful story, Erin. I am totally with that way of LIVING! Love to you and little girl. Anne

  41. Dana Adriana Burghelea Gheorghiu says:

    You and your little girl are so beautiful ! thank you for sharing with us her picture ! And thank you for this post, the way you wrote it was super ! I proved the same experience but in a different context – I had to decide to trust and to love unconditionally, and it works. Yes, there are moments when the fear comes back but I conscientiously go back on that trust and confidence that make the Earth go round.

    All the best to you and your family. So nice to hear from you !
    Dana Adriana

  42. Eliezra says:

    You are such a wise soul… I always enjoy reading you and always, always come away with something important to reflect upon. Bless you! And… I trust you, of course 😉

  43. Lesley Stone says:

    perfect landing

  44. Sarah says:

    Erin, this is beautiful. In the end, anxiety and worry don’t serve anyone—ourselves, or those we love. As parents, I guess we have to accept that we are not 100% in control, but we can still trust—in God, in life, in our children. Acceptance is so difficult, but this is an awesome beginning for your journey as a mother!!

  45. Karen Kalish says:

    Erin,

    Your little one is so sweet. Soak up every minute of it. I have a 2 year old grandson and I am enjoying every minute — can’t believe he is 2 years old already! Your post was awesome. My husband’s heart failure took a turn for the worst over the last 18 months. we went to another hospital in another state for a second opinion. Evidently there were things that should have been done differently. Anyway, we went thru all the testing and worries of a transplant evaluation. He made the transplant list this month. So here we are waiting. The surgery itself is terrifying eventhough it is a standard surgery now and not experimental. We pretty much decided, just as you said ” We have the ability to put faith and trust in people and situations when it is really hard to do.” I could not put it into words as well as you have. We repeat the mantra “I trust my healthcare professionals and everything is going to be allright.”

  46. Natalia says:

    Erin, thank you very much for sharing your stories about pregnancy and afterwards. Your blogs help me change my fears and anxiety about pregnancy and a child into trust. Trust is a wonderful word. When I start worring about different things at night, I pray to God to take care about any possible issues.
    Thank you for sharing your grattitude.
    I think your daughter and husband are blessed to have you as a mother and a wife. You are a coach for life.

  47. Lynne says:

    Beautiful story 💖💕
    You are a hero

  48. Melody says:

    Building my trust muscles back up has been super tough after a whirlwind of jumping off a cliff (figuratively!). I didn’t and we’ll. And the pain was intense. I withdrew and kept saying I trust that in the end, this will all make sense.

    My little blessing, Baby Harper, was growing in me, and when we received the news that she had missing chromosomes (one of her female chromosomes), I did a lot of research, and I told her, I love you. Her daddy felt the same way. Within 48 hours a complete peace and love filled me. No matter what, I trust and love you Baby Harper. More tests were done and ultrasounds were scheduled weekly to watch all her organs grow. A month later results came back normal for her chromosomes. The prayers, complete love, and trust could have been the part that changed the results, however, like you I’m not saying I have that much power to control things. The first 6-8 weeks were really hard for me. Now she’s hit the 8 month mark and is such a precious joy.

    I do have some people I need to trust. I trust, then I revert back to doubt. The road in the past 3 years has gotten gentler, but I still experience trust glitches, which sends me into a flight risk. I hope my flight risk is to really fly, not run away.

    I’ve come to a point where I know the answer to move powerfully forward. I have to be pure. Pure of heart. No worry. No mistrust. No drama people around me. And only operate from a pure heart of love, trust, and action.

  49. Ginette says:

    Love it! Thanks for sharing!

  50. bina says:

    thank you so much for sharing your personal journey dear..lots of love

  51. Seanna says:

    What a beautiful story, letter and thought process! Words of wisdom for sure Erin. Thank You!

  52. Courtney says:

    This email really resonated with me as we are also trying to conceive and I’m about to turn 36. The worry, the what ifs all can cloud your head and make you anxious. I need to learn to just trust myself and my husband and also trust the process that things will happen as they should. Thank you, Erin, for sharing this experience and way of dealing with worry, negative thoughts and anxiety.

    • erin says:

      Yes, theee things happen in their own perfect timing as hard as that can be. Sending you lots of love and ease and success. Xo

  53. Elyse says:

    Erin, I’ve been loving your motherhood + pregnancy writing. You’re helping so many people, mama’s or not!

    I want to work on trusting other people more, but what I’ve found so far is the more I trust myself and the more I trust my own decisions/actions, etc., the more I can trust in others.

    Love you and your words so much!

  54. Patty says:

    Erin, beautiful story 😊 Congratulations and thank you for sharing. Believe, trust and love ☺

  55. Neeta says:

    Erin, Sometimes we’re our own worst enemies. We worry too much! Trust the process & trust yourself and all those close to you. Nature & our Creator work miracles everyday in our lives.

  56. GINA TOTH-BECKER says:

    Thank you for sharing Your story Erin. It was a beautiful inspiration and shows the power of your thoughts and prayers.

  57. Karla says:

    Incredible! Thank you for sharing this personal and powerful story. You are an inspiration in every meaning of the word. Blessings to you and your family!

  58. lelia says:

    Erin, blessings to you, your husband, and the beautiful little strong human you have brought into the world. Thank you for your inspirations. This was a deeply personal story for you to share–thank you. Lelia

  59. Julie says:

    I’m putting this into action in my marriage. I have become the angry, blaming, untrusting spouse. I’m going to put this in my mindset and have that loving conversation with my spouse and pray! Thank you for your insight!

  60. Tove says:

    Thank you … To have faith and trust in the other, when may be I can’t trust myself …because I start doughting if I am strong enough to go true this period… This reading helps me as this day has been painful with “introspection”. I want to put faith and trust that the outcome will be the best for both of us what so ever comes. I’ll continue using the talk I already do and make some of your frases, thanks for sharing!

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