Step Into The Fear

However, as I traveled 3,000 miles back to NY, I had a strange sinking feeling in my stomach. I will be seeing these women several more times throughout the year, so um, HOLY CRAP, I actually have to DO these things.

So now, while I’m watching my Jet Blue direct TV, I’m saying to myself, “What in the HELL were you thinking, Stutland!?”

I suddenly felt paralyzed by A SH*# TON OF FEAR!! FEAR in a major way. I found myself doubting and questioning every thought I had.

How will I pull this off?
Who am I to dream up something big, seriously, who?!Maybe I am not smart enough, talented enough, courageous enough, good enough.What will people think if they even CARE at all!?!?
What if I FAIL, with a big fat F!!? (this is a HUGE one)

(do any of these sound familiar to you, btw? Yeah, welcome to being HUMAN!)

In L.A. I was EXPANDING, and now, every part of me wanted to contract, retreat, take back what I said, GO HOME.

However, I know PLAYING SMALL is NOT an OPTION! It’s just NOT an OPTION. And I know many of you feel the exact same way!

BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE FEAR!?!? HOW DO YOU MOVE AHEAD WHEN YOU ARE SHAKIN’ IN YOUR 4 inch high heeled BOOTS?

Well, instead of retreating from the fear, I started to step into IT and FEEEEEL’ IT. Rock out with it! Roll around in it! NO FIXING, CHANGING, or MANIPULATING it, but just JAMMING OUT with the feeling WHILE ALSO MOVING forward AND doing what I said I am going to do.

As actor and creator of Committed Impulse, Josh Pais says, “PARTY WITH YOUR FEAR!” That’s what I’m doin’ and WE are going to have a good ole’ time.

Once I started doing this, the FEAR turned into PURE excitement. Then FEAR, then EXCITEMENT, back to FEAR and around and about to EXCITEMENT!! Woo-hoo! Sounds like a party to me! (Guess what? I’m still here.)

Is there SOMETHING YOU HAVE BEEN AFRAID TO DO!? Perhaps you have been telling yourself the story, I am not good enough, I don’t deserve that, I couldn’t possibly do X, Y, Z.

Now is the time EFF THAT! Now is the time to step into, feel it, PAR-TAY with it, and take some mother ‘effin action!

I NEED YOU!

TELL ME what you are committed to doing this month that scares the BAJESUS outta ya!? Accountability is king!

Leave a comment on the blog! (HINT: The first SCARY thing you can do is TELL ME THE BIG SCARY THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO, cause I know you are thinkin’, WHAT WILL PEOPLE THINK OF MY BIG SCARY THING?!?!)

HERE IS ONE OF MY SCARY ACTIONS:

I just committed to performing a scene night through my acting studio. (I love the intimacy of working on camera, so doing live theater is super scary, cause I haven’t done it in like 3 years!)

I PROMISE TO GIVE YOU DETAILS LET YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES.

I am going to check in with you each week to make sure you are keepin’ your word.

Xx
Erin